You are my life

Where'd you go?

(Alex's POV)

Piper had missed this week's visitation.
I knew she was in Missouri convincing Badison to take whatever deal she had cooked up in that clever, blonde head of hers.
But that was last week.
She wasn't here now and I was worried.
She said she'd be here today, well, I assumed 'soon' meant today because how long does it take to convince someone to take a deal?
I had so many questions running through my head.
Did McCullough succeed in breaking us?
Did Badison say something to her?
Have I finally pushed her too far?
What have I done?
Why am I so fucking stupid?
How could I have hurt the love of my life so apparently deeply?

Sighing, I stand from my visitation chair and shuffle back to my cell block.
I go straight for the phones and get in line.
I was going to call her and see what the deal was and why she missed our visitation.

When I finally reach the top of the line, I grabbed the phone and punched in her number.

Ring
Ring
Ring
'Hi, this is Piper. I'm sorry I'm not available right now.'

Oh fuck no. Not this shit again.
I dial her number again.

Ring
Ring
"Hello?" She answers.

"Hey babe. Where are you? I missed you at visitation today." I ask her, trying my best to keep my voice calm and not show her that my insecurities were picking up again.

"I'm so sorry Al. I'm in New York." She tells me.
My heart drops.

I instantly think the worst.
Was she leaving me?
Why was she back in New York?
Did fucking Zelda get her hooks back into her again?
This is exactly what I was afraid of.
This is exactly why McCullough even happened in the first place.
I just suck it up and go for it. I put it out there.
"Is Zelda with you?" I ask her, not sure if I wanted to know the answer to that.

"What? Why would? No. Fuck Alex, I thought you said you didn't blame me for your abandonment issues anymore? If you must know I'm in New York to warn your little fuck buddy that I'll be prosecuting her to the full extent of the law because no one steals my woman, first of all. Second of all, no one manipulates and coerces my woman and gets away with it. Zelda is NOT with me. Okay?!" She says before getting irate and starting to yell at me through the phone.

I couldn't help the purr that came out of my mouth at her reasons for confronting McCullough.
"Your woman huh?" I ask her with a huge smirk on my face.

"Yes." She states firmly which made me feel all fuzzy and warm inside.

"I gotta say Pipes, possessive, jealous, lawyer you is the sexiest thing. It's such a turn on babe." I tell her, still with my smirk plastered on my face.
I was enjoying jealous Piper, I've gotta say. She's finally possessive over me and I was more in love with and turned on by her than ever.
I've had so many fantasies running through my mind for the past week with the knowledge that Piper was now a federal prosecutor.
And as for that sexy power suit of hers.
Yum.

"Yeah well, don't get used to jealous Piper because I NEVER want to see her again. If she does appear again, believe me, so will jealous Alex and I know you won't like that." She threatens.

"Noted. Jealous Piper will not appear again. Not intentionally anyway. I promise babe. Please don't make jealous Alex appear again. I hate her." I tell her.

"If I don't have to make her appear again I won't. Okay Al, I've gotta go. I've just pulled up to where they're keeping your little fuck buddy." She says. I could hear the hurt and frustration in her voice and it killed me.

"Pipes, please stop calling her my 'little fuck buddy'. It only hurts you which hurts me and I'd really love to move on from that aspect of our relationship and forget it even happened. I know that's all she was to me but stop torturing yourself babe. Please? I hate you being upset." I ask her.

I heard her sigh down the phone.

"It's not me torturing me and if you hate me being upset so much, stop making it happen." She states.

I truly hated that I'd done this.

McCullough could cry over me all she wants. I was sorry that I used her when I knew she was falling for me but I have no feelings for her whatsoever. None. Nada. Zilch.
I did to her what I did to mules I'd hook up with before and after Piper if I needed to fuck.
To me she was pure and simple sex.
Easy sex.
Sexual frustration sex.
Lonely sex.
Jealous sex.
Distraction sex.
Sad sex.
Survival sex.
When I thought the woman I love was leaving me. Again. For another woman.
That was all.
End of story.
Nothing more.
Nothing less.

Piper however, was the fucking love of my life and having her cry continuously and hurt over something I'd done weighed heavily on my conscience and I knew it'd take a long time to disappear.
I couldn't wait to get out to be with her so I could make it up to her.
Sex with Piper was untouchable.
Sex with the person you love is unbeatable.
With Piper, it was like we were painting our love on our mattress.
Both literally and figuratively.
When we had sex, it was like an array of colours came to life.
Loving sex.
Passionate sex.
Make up sex.
I must have you now sex.
Hate sex.
Birthday sex.
Christmas sex.
Vacation sex.
Soon to be honeymoon sex.
Reunion sex.
Sex.
At its most raw and emotional.
Only with Piper do I and will I ever feel that way.
See the difference?

I sigh,
"Piper babe, I'm so sorry."

"Okay. But we're still having that fight. That is a promise. You aren't escaping. You're currently getting off lightly because you're in prison and I can't throw shit at you." She tells me.

"If you're going to throw shit at me can it be your bra?" I ask, hoping to lighten the mood.

"Oh you have a long way to go before you even see my bra again Alex." She says in a firm tone.

So my suspicions were correct.
I'd be punished in a God awful way.
Piper wasn't going to put out until she was satisfied I'd made it up to her.
Great.

"I know." I say sadly. Accepting my fate of no sex with her for what could be up to a month.
Oh yes, Piper has done that before.
Around the time she carried that drug money and freaked out.
Being away from her by force for a long period was hard enough but not being able to touch her intimately when I was free to was going to be some form of torture.
It'd been so long since we'd had sex.
Too long.

"Well, in your words, I've gotta go. They only hold inmates in visitation for a certain length of time even with a lawyer as you know very well." She says.

"Okay.. and Piper?"

"Yes Alex?"

"I love you. So much." I tell her with a shy smile.

"I love you too."

"Always?" I ask. My insecurities slipping through again.

"Always." She states.

With that, we hang up.