You are my life

Afterglow

(Piper's POV)

Basking in the afterglow of our fantastic reunion sex, I was lying with my head on Alex's stomach fuzz as she held me, her legs wrapped around me, caressing me with her feet, absentmindedly passing her fingers through my hair.
"You know Al, I've never seen you so possessive and jealous before. I mean, yes, there was that one time in that nightclub in Berlin where you were ready to kill that girl... and guy come to think of it, but apart from that." I muse.
From above me, Alex rolls her eyes.
"Way to kill the mood Pipes." She sighs.
Still stroking my hair, she says,
"What can I say? I'm confident, cool and collected around everyone else but when it comes to you Pipes, I'm vulnerable. And I can't even begin to comprehend how happy it makes me that I'm your happiness. Trust me babe, you're mine too. The only reason I broke up with you before was because I thought I'd dragged you down enough. I couldn't and I wouldn't ask you to pack up your life and come with me. Again. Look where that got us the first time. I love you too much for that. I also thought that yes, we may love each other to infinity and beyond, but if it wasn't us separating from each other, it was other forces pulling us apart so I guess I thought we just weren't meant to be, no matter how much love is there. Pipes, since we met, all I've ever wanted was our happily ever after but every time it looked hopeful for us, everything went to shit. I guess I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop and when I thought it was, I got ahead of it. You are the only person alive now who could really and truly hurt me and I didn't want you to again." She admits.

At this, I sit up, leaning on my elbow and look at her dead in the eye.
"Alex, you have your happy ever after with me. I promise. You don't need to prove that you love me. I already know. I've always known. I've also already told you that you are my life. I'm committed to you 100% as a partner. I love you and being without you makes me miserable." I respond.
She smiles and stretches across to peck me on the lips.
"No more toxic Alex and Piper. It's healthy Alex and Piper from now on. Meaning, if something's bothering one of us, we tell the other, if something happens to one of us, we tell the other etc. Agreed?" She offers.
I smile.
"Agreed. And hey look Alex, if Zelda bothers you so much I can just cut all ties with her if she makes you uncomfortable." I counter.
She gives me a half smile as if she's thinking about it while she strokes my arm but replies,
"You don't have to do that babe. She's your friend. I just, seeing you on her Instagram page, my mind went to Sylvie kicking you out when we first slept together and her words 'stay the fuck away from her' were the exact words going through my mind when I saw you at yoga with her. And going by the absence of Polly, she's your only friend who isn't an ex con, I understand that you need friends Pipes. But speaking of Polly, if I ever see her again, I think I might just give her a piece of my mind. Anyway, as long as Zelda stays your friend and gets the message that you belong to me MRS Vause-Chapman. I trust you." She grins as she emphasises 'Mrs Vause-Chapman' which makes me grin too.
"What we have is unconditional Alex. No matter what either of us has done, it'll always be us for each other. Right?" I ask her.
Still smiling she confirms,
"Right."
Then she continues.
"I gotta say though Pipes. When you were out and McCullough kissed me, I liked being someone's first choice. Which is why I went for it in the first place, aside from the other reasons I gave, you know like fear of losing you, jealousy, power, protection from that creep Hellman and insecurity. I was and am weak without you Piper. It's a proven fact. When you left the first time, I turned to heroin, rehab and working myself into the ground. I didn't want to give this reason publicly, this is only for you to hear babe. My father not even giving me a chance in life and more predominantly, you leaving me more than once, gave me a fear of being left, unwanted and that I'm never good enough and trust me Pipes, she wouldn't leave me alone, it was almost stalker-ish." She admits.
I couldn't hide the fact that what she had just said hurt so I look down.
Seeing this, Alex takes my hands and weaves our fingers together.
This prompts me to speak.
"She did stalk me actually and you've always been my first choice Al. You've either just been too blinded by your fears to see it or it wasn't totally obvious."
At this, Alex looks away, stifling a sob before looking back at me.
"I'm so sorry she came to your place Pipes. I'm so sorry that I even went there in the first place. She didn't have my heart, or anything else that belonged to you. Your smile, your sparkling blue eyes, your heart, your body, your drive, your cute little mannerisms that I adore, your random bits of knowledge, your laugh...none of it. Only you have that. All she had was a body for hire since it couldn't be reunited with the heart that belonged to it. It was safe at home, with you. You imprinted on me the day we met so anywhere you go, my heart goes because you ARE my heart Pipes. So what if she-?" She stops because the thought of what she was about to say obviously either scares her, hurts her too much or both.
But then she continues.
"And have I? You chose your cushiony, safety net of a life over me, then ten years later, you choose your fiancé over me regardless of the fact you restarted our relationship again while with him, then you cheated on me with your greasy haired dingo friend, then you chose to take part in the riot negotiations rather than play house with me, then you were too focused on kickball to notice that I fell on the sword to protect you. You always have to have someone else or a cause Pipes." She sadly rants, her eyes beginning to get glassy.
I was indignant but didn't want to show it because she was partially right.
"Okay. First of all, I left because you chose your job over me, you were a workaholic and it was destroying you. I couldn't bear to see that and your job was dangerous Alex. Second of all, we'd just had that talk about the future and you were basically talking about going back to our old lives which nearly ran you into the ground then you disregarded a life I was considering with you and told me to chase that life with Larry, so I did. Thirdly, Stella was a distraction because once again, I couldn't bear to see the woman I love so scared and paranoid. Fourthly, I took part in those negotiations to see where I could get not just everyone else in prison, but us. If I could get us both out sooner so that we could be together properly then I was damn well going to try. Also, kickball was a way to make prison suck less, you were still recovering from what Piscatella did to you so couldn't take part and I was fine with that because I wanted you to get better. Plus, I didn't know that you did that, you didn't tell me that until recently either Alex." I confess but grit out the last sentence with clenched teeth before continuing.
"And lastly, yes, Zelda offered me the life you used to give me, albeit the legal version. She offered me a legal, luxurious life and she had my parents' approval but I went against what she and everyone else wanted and the luxurious life up for grabs, for you. The love of my life. I turned her offer away for a shoebox apartment in Ohio, living alone with a lowly job because I love you Alex. Zelda also only had a body for hire. Okay yes, my choices haven't always been the most clear but they've always been with you in mind. You imprinted on my heart too the day we met." I tell her.

Alex just grins like a Cheshire Cat at me.
Taking me completely by surprise, I was once again on my back.
She'd pounced on me.
Now above me, still grinning maniacally, Alex says,
"Ugh, you're all fucking mine and God I love that and I love you. So fucking much."
Then she claims my lips again in an all consuming kiss.