You are my life

Ohio

(Alex's POV)

I had been in the Ohio facility for a month now. It was great seeing Boo and a few of the gang from back at Litchfield, at least now I wasn't alone. I even had Boo as my cell mate but I was keeping my head down. After the McCullough, Zelda, Piper situation, I did not want a repeat. To be honest, I only want Piper. The woman I love and lost but needless to say, I haven't seen or heard from her in over a month. Why should I when I told her to go?

Ugh, Piper. I miss her so much. Ever since she confessed to me that she only slept with Zelda once because of how hurt she was by my actions, I've felt horrible. My stupid jealousy, insecurity, survival instinct and abandonment issues once again got the better of me. I knew letting her go was the right decision to make but it was the hardest decision I've had to make to date and I was a high ranking drug dealer. How are you truly supposed to let go of the love of your life? I was never able to do it before, who was I kidding when I suggested it now?

I wanted her to go and find happiness and someone who wouldn't do to her what I have done even if her happiness is with that bitch Zelda and not me.
I've dragged her down enough in this fucked up life of mine. Hurting her ends now. Hurting her in the first place hurt me in return so I needed to remove the cause of her pain. Me. As much as it killed me to do it.

At least Zelda can give her stability and happiness, what she's always wanted. As much as it hurts to not be with her, it gives me comfort and happiness that she has finally got a life she deserves. When you love something or someone as much as I love Piper, you have to set them free right?

That being said, I couldn't bring myself to take off the makeshift wedding ring Piper had placed on my finger. It's the only thing I have left that reminds me I could've led the life I've always wanted. A life officially bound to Piper because I've always been bound to Piper like a magnet since the day we met in that goddamn bar.

"Aaaaaahh! Why the fuck was I SO fucking STUPID?!" I scream my thoughts out loud, slamming my palms hard into the cinderblock wall beside my bunk.
"Jesus Vause calm down or you're going to solitary!" The guard at the door to my cell chastises.
I glare up at him with puffy, tired eyes. I may or may not have been crying endlessly throughout the past month over Piper and hating myself so I didn't notice him approaching my cell.
Boo's been sympathetic after I explained what happened but my sobbing through the night is starting to get to her.
When I didn't move, the guard started getting impatient.
"Are you coming or are you just going to sit there looking like Morticia's anaemic sister?" He gruffly asks.
"Coming for what?" I snap. Confused.
"You have a visitor." He replies.
"Who? I literally have no one left on the outside. Everyone I know and love is in New York." I continue to snap at him in my confused and broken state.
"The fuck if I know. It's not my job to tell you who bothers their ass to come to this shithole to see you but it is my job to bring you to them now hurry up." He sighs, clearly getting pissed.
I just roll my eyes, get off my bunk and follow him to the line of inmates awaiting visitors.

"Okay inmates, you know the drill, find your loved ones, you have half an hour." The guard barked and returned to his post behind the visitation desk.
Confused as to why I was summoned here from my hole of moping, I scour the room for a familiar face and it was like I was transported back in time to a certain bar in 2003. That same feeling I got when nothing else in my world mattered but the person I had just clapped eyes on, had returned.
Green was met with deep ocean blue.
Delighted shock was met with shy nervousness.
I was met with a sight I had been longing for for a month now.
This had to be a dream or an hallucination from longing for her too much. The love of your life doesn't simply appear from nearly 600 miles across the country. Especially after how you last saw them. No, especially after how you last treated them. Surely.
Overjoyed doesn't even begin to summarise what I feel right about now. Piper really left her life in New York and that Zelda woman behind for me?! I don't know if I should kiss her until she's breathless or get angry with her for one disobeying my wishes and two being so fucking stupid to come down this path with me again.