ƈʀօȶƈɦɛȶʏ, ռɛա, ʟօʋǟɮʟɛ • ɮɨʟʟɨɛ ɛɨʟɨֆɦ

•9•

"You're really quiet today.", Billie notices.

"Yeah, I am just not feeling so well. But I can work on the project so let's move forward."

She checks me out one more time before opening the textbook.

"Okay then. Let's continue.", she sighs and starts reading something about toxic relationships and jealousy, but I can't focus on what she's saying.
My mind drifts back to the night of the party.

I defended my project partner to the point where everyone must be talking about the big scene Bradley caused.

I didn't even listen to what Lily was trying to say.

The whole school will probably be talking about us on Monday.
What if everyone thinks I am a lesbian because I hang out with Billie Eilish? What if Brad spreads the rumors and all my friend's start hating me?

A cold feeling washes over me and suddenly I am scared.
Why did I get so involved with this girl in the first place?

"...and that may cause problems between the couple-hey Keneston! Are you even listening to me?", she snaps.

"I um...don't know how to say this but...this isn't working out.", I confess.

Her expression is one of plain confusion.

"What do you mean? The assignment's process is amazing. We'll be over before anyone else in the class. That's what you wanted right? The perfect project for the perfect grade.", she clarifies.

"That's what I wanted but-"

"You don't want it anymore? I don't get it.", she scoffs and throws the textbook on the other side of the bed.
She approaches and sits down beside me. " What went wrong?"

I take a deep breath and prepare myself for what I am going to say next.

"Look. The assignment is indeed going fine. But I don't think we're compatible as partners. We're too different."

"Too different.", she clarifies, deep in thought.
Then, her expression hardens.
"So that's what this is all about. Your friends changed your mind about me didn't they? They finally convinced you I am hitting on you right?", she stands up and eyes me from head to toe. "And I thought you weren't a moron like them. I was actually starting to think that you were smart and open-minded.", she isn't shouting at me, but her tone is full of sarcasm and disappointment.

A very unpleasant feeling settles into my stomach and suddenly I am feeling very guilty. What am I saying? What am I doing?
"It's not like that I swear-"

She laughs sarcastically but I can see something else-her eyes are getting watery. "You're talking to me like you're about to break up with me or something. I guess these people really got into your head.", she's still horrifically calm and I can't feel any worse.
No one's ever seen Billie Eilish cry.
I can't believe I am the cause of the sight in front of me and I am not willing to witness it right now.

"Wait, no I didn't mean it like that-"

"And for the record, don't even think about telling people I was actually into you, cause it's not true!", she finally breaks and slams the door of my room before I see the tears leaking out of her eyes.

Sitting on my empty bed, with the assignment's textbook lying on the bed open, I can't help but wonder how I am going to fix this. My guilt is eating me alive and I know I didn't act as myself. I let a situation get in my head and I messed up everything-not only a wonderful piece of work, but also a possible new friendship.