ƈʀօȶƈɦɛȶʏ, ռɛա, ʟօʋǟɮʟɛ • ɮɨʟʟɨɛ ɛɨʟɨֆɦ

•5•

"So how do you think a relationship can work out?", she asks, preparing to write my answer down.

"Well...I believe that for a relationship to work well, in other words to be able to perfectly synchronize trust, transparency, honesty, respect and communicate with one another, we need a cohesive force to bring and keep these attributes together."

"You make it sound like trusting people is easy."

"You make it sound like it's impossible.", I respond, fiddling with my fingers.

"For me, it is.", she simply states.

"Why?" Am I being too curious? "I mean, if you've spent a certain amount of time with someone while getting to know them, you kind of start trusting them right?"

"That doesn't work for me. I barely hang out with anyone."

"And why is that?"

"Because", she's trying to find the right way to express herself, "Everyone in the school probably thinks I am a retard or something, just because I am anti-social! You should've seen your expression when the teacher paired us up together.", she actually sounds affected by my actions.

"I...didn't know that-"

"That I'd care? Yeah... I figured. I am not some kind of a heartless freak you know. "

"I didn't say you were."

"You really acted like it though."

I am honestly touched by her attempt to talk about her feelings. Especially with me.
She probably needed a friend all along and no one gave her an actual chance.

"I am so sorry Billie. I acted just like everyone else. I should have known better. Everyone deserves a chance."

"I don't need your pity Keneston. Just...let's get this thing over with and move on with our lives. Can we do that?"

"Aren't you interested in becoming my friend?", I ask.

I am so lost. She wanted friends didn't she? Why is she acting like this now?

"Why would I? You were quick to judge just like all these other assholes. I am not interested in being friends with someone who pities me. Thanks for offering though.", she says, dismissing my attempt to get close to her.

"Very well. Let's just keep going then."

"Cool."

We stay silent for a good minute before I let my notebook down, quitting my try to concentrate.

"I think we should leave this for another day. I am not feeling it today.", I say sighing.

"But we just started. I thought you wanted a good grade miss Smarty-Pants.", she says almost mockingly.

I give her a tired stare and put my things back in my school bag.

"So...", she starts.

Is she really trying to start small talk between us?

"Yeah?"

"What are your plans for the future?", she gets more comfortable on my bed.

"I want to be an architect. I like literature too, but it was never my thing I guess. How about you?"

"Me? I...uh...want a motorbike."

I blink confused and she grins.

"A motorbike? That's all you want? Seriously?"

"It's a good start. I love traveling but I never get to travel. So when I am officially legal, I am gonna buy a motorbike and travel as much as I want."

"Sounds kind of rebellious.", I joke.

"It kinda is. I was always a prisoner in my trailer."

"You live in a trailer?", I shout excitedly.

"Yeah. But it's useless since we never leave the town."

"Not even for vacation? What stops you? Your parents' problematic jobs?", I joke, cause it honestly sounds ridiculous. Who the hell has a trailer and never uses it?

"I don't live with my parents.", she simply answers.

Oh. Damn.

"It's okay...my parents got a divorce three years ago too. You really get used to it after a while.", I respond feeling kind of guilty about my previous joke.

"My parents didn't get a divorce. My dad died in a car accident when my mother was pregnant. I don't even know him so...i really can't feel sad."

Her face is emotionless.
I think I just crossed a line. God, I am so stupid. When will I learn how to shut up?

"Oh...i am sorry.", is the only thing I can say.

Great. Now she probably thinks I am a heartless monster or something.

"It's fine. I live in the trailer with my stepbrother."

Stepbrother?

"What about your mother?", I ask, my curiosity only increasing.

"She fell in love with some drug dealer guy and got married. After that, they decided their children were a burden to the life they had started planning together. They sold the house, bought a trailer and left us in there.", she casually explains, never looking directly to me.

"Oh. And...you guys get along?"

"Most of the time. Nik is a cool guy. It could have been worse."

I got carried away.
Maybe she didn't want to be reminded of her past. I messed up again.

"Sorry for asking for so many details. I don't know what happened... I was just so interested in what you had to say. It's like I am solving a mystery you know."

She looks at me and smiles melancholically.

"I know."