ƈʀօȶƈɦɛȶʏ, ռɛա, ʟօʋǟɮʟɛ • ɮɨʟʟɨɛ ɛɨʟɨֆɦ

•40•

CAUTION: This book has a bitter ending and it's not how you probably expected it. If you want a happy ending, stick with chapter 39 and imagine what happened from there. If you're here for this ending, I'm not saying you will cry, because I don't have that power as a writer, but you'll probably feel a little sad.
I'm not dead. I told you I would finish this book and this is the last chapter. Writing this one was super hard for me, so please don't be too hard on me.
P.S. This is a long chapter with much information. You have to remember this book from chapter one (especially names) in order to completely engage in this one. Trigger caution for drugs, medical conditions and unhealthy behavior. Please don't write too hateful comments, I'm a sensitive person🥺.

I'm her favorite color.

I wish I'd listened to her singing. At least just once.

This hurts.

I open my eyes slowly, adjusting to the white, sharp light stinging my face.
I raise my hand to rub my face, but I quickly realize it's connected to something small and long. A cable? No. A tube?

Where am I?

I try to clear my vision so I can finally see what is happening around me.
I see figures, dark figures until everything clears up and my mother gasps audibly above my head.

"Jade?"

Her voice sounds distant like she's calling for me from another place even though she's right above my head.

"Where am I?", my voice sounds hoarse to my own ears, like it hasn't been used in a while.

"In the hospital. Do you remember anything?"

There is another person right next to my mother. A blonde, tall girl with ocean eyes.
I feel tears threatening to spill from my eyes and I can't even tell why.

"Amanda?", I whisper. She seems familiar and I know exactly who she is, but at the same time, I don't.

She girl smiles weakly from hearing her name. Her t-shirt is soaked and a waterfall of tears is running down her cheeks. She looks relieved and scared at the same time.

"I'm here. It's alright.", her voice breaks.

I look around, observing the white room. Why am I here? Did I faint?

"I don't remember what happened. I let her go...but she's going to come back. We were supposed to talk on the phone right after she got there. Did she call me? Tell me I didn't miss her call..."

My mother and Amanda look both absolutely confused.

"Who did you let go, Jade? Who was supposed to call you?", my mother asks.

Right. She doesn't know much about what happened after I decided to let Billie go to the orphanage.

"Billie. My girlfriend. The one you despised, accused of manipulation and refused to accommodate in our house."

Amanda looks horrified, but my mom just nods, clearly not refusing anything.
She must be really satisfied with the fact that my girlfriend is not around anymore.
Right when I'm about to ask my mother what happened to me, a young doctor enters the room, holding a small round box.

"Thank God you're here Dr. Host. She's very confused. I think this one was the worst she's had. She doesn't remember a single thing.", my mother says quickly, stumbling over her words.

"I'm going to check that right now. Please step aside for a little."

The man approaches me and gently places his right hand on my forehead. He is civil but has a concerned expression.