ƈʀօȶƈɦɛȶʏ, ռɛա, ʟօʋǟɮʟɛ • ɮɨʟʟɨɛ ɛɨʟɨֆɦ

•29•

So you're going to both hate me and love me for this chapter. There's a huge reveal and things get...well, you'll see. Enjoyyyy xx

"Why would you do that?", I ask in astonishment when we get out of the bathroom.

"Because I wanted to.", she smirks and shrugs carelessly before interlocking our fingers to pull me with her.
My heart's beating faster. Why is she acting like this all of a sudden?

Maybe she likes you too. Maybe she changed her mind about Lily.

"Where have you two been?" Damien wonders.

Our orders have arrived and the two of them are already eating slowly.

"Jade needed the bathroom and you know how that goes. It's the girl code and shit.", Billie sits down and grabs her fork eagerly.

"Right.", he accepts actually like he believes her lame excuse.

"I hate the fact that we have to be careful about the smallest things. We shouldn't be afraid to go to the bathroom alone.", Lily shakes her head in annoyance.

"That's true. Our society is pretty messed up.", Damien agrees.

I just nod my head and focus on my plate. I'm still flushed and affected by Billie's previous actions and I hate that. I'm just an experiment for her.

"We shouldn't be afraid of men everywhere we go.", Lily states, clearly invested in the topic.

"I'm not afraid of men. Most of them are actually pathetic. That's why I'm a lesbian.", Billie blurts out.

Damien's knife falls off of his hands and lands on the table.
"You're...you're a homosexual?", he shutters.

"Yup.", she keeps eating like she didn't notice his reaction.

"That's...cool.", Damien composes himself and picks up his fork and knife before continuing eating.

Well, that wasn't that bad at all.
Lily and I exchange a relieved look and I can see we're thinking of the same thing. This is what you call an almost Deja vu.

"So...do you have a...I mean, you were friends with Lily and Jade before me...did you-"

"You're asking if I'm in a relationship with any of them?", Billie grins, amused.

What??

"Ehm, yeah, something like that.", Damien looks uncomfortable, but curious too.

"Oh, no! We're all just friends!", Lily smiles almost hopefully, glancing at me.

"Well, not exactly.", Billie mumbles, looking at me.

My breath gets caught in my throat and my erratic heartbeat is back before it even had the chance to calm down.

Damien and Lily both look at me, shocked, before glancing at Billie, waiting for an explanation.

"I mean, Jade and I were never exactly a thing but she's quite an interesting companion."

This can't be happening right now. Did she just talk about our confusing situation in front of two other people?

The whole school might know by Monday.

"Wow, I didn't know you guys were a thing.", Lily comments, startled.

"Yeah, neither did I.", I croak, not able to get anything else out of my mouth.

"So you're a lesbian too? I legitimately thought you two had a platonic relationship.", Damien says, obviously shocked.

"I'm not a lesbian! I...I was just..."

I can't believe Billie just did something like that. She didn't even ask me if I was comfortable with them knowing about us.

"Experimenting.", Billie completes, still unbothered from my awkwardness.

Why is she doing this to me?

And then, suddenly, it hits me.

She is using me.

She's trying to make Lily jealous. That's what the whole bathroom and holding hands thing was about. She is trying to get a reaction out of her crush.
By using my feelings for her.

And I actually thought she had feelings for me too. That maybe I had a real chance with her.

I get up from the table, not able to face her anymore.

"Jade?", Damien looks worried. He must be the only one who noticed that I wasn't happy with the whole reveal thing.

I take a deep breath before picking up my backpack and jacket.
I turn to Billie, my eyes already wet from the upcoming tears.

"You should've said that experimenting meant a completely different thing to you, you know. I was stupid enough to develop feelings for you while you used my stupidity to get what you wanted."

I push my chair aside with force before storming out of the restaurant, not caring enough to see her reaction to my reveal.

Having a crush on another girl is one thing, but using me to get to her is a completely different one.

And with that thought and the bitter realization that I was actually just a game to her, the barrier that contained my tears for so long breaks and violent sobs take over my body before I even have the chance to reach the taxi I called to take me home.

The worst part isn't even that she never liked me as I did, but one terrible truth that I'm realizing just now:

I've fallen in love with her.

I'm sorry, I love y'all🤧🙈🥺