ƈʀօȶƈɦɛȶʏ, ռɛա, ʟօʋǟɮʟɛ • ɮɨʟʟɨɛ ɛɨʟɨֆɦ

•39•

"Nik wants to send me away. What did you tell him?", Billie stumbles over her own words, a very rare situation.

What?

"He what? My sister must've been talking to him.", I murmur, taking her hand in mine. "She's concerned about your well-being."

I don't want her to be upset, and most importantly I don't want her to leave. But as much as I tried to find another solution, nothing came up.
If my mother found out, she'd call the police and report a house invasion. Billie is still a minor so she would be forcibly sent to an orphanage anyway and I would lose her.

"He wants me to stay somewhere safe until he has a stable job! Can you believe him? He treats me like a child, I can't leave, I won't!"

My throat tightens and a big lump is blocking my speech.
I'm almost certain that If I try to speak, my voice will break and make things even worse. She's said she can't cope with people crying, so I won't make this more difficult for her.
She thinks I'm on her side, but I can't lose her, so there is no other way to make things work. She has to leave. As soon as possible.

I shake my head in a hopeless try to keep the tears from spilling.

"Why aren't you saying anything? Do you agree with them?", she pulls her hand away and stares at me with an open mouth.

"I...I don't want you to leave."

"Then say something! They can't take me away, we won't see each other again...", to my surprise, her own voice breaks.

"Of course we will, don't speak nonsense!", I raise my voice, reaching out to take her hand once again, but she refuses to touch me.

"Jade, you agree with them, don't you? You think I should go to that place."

Her eyes are wide and mixed emotions are passing through in them. Fear, disappointment, sadness and surprise.

"Look at me. We can't do this in any other way. It's just for one year, and then you'll be an adult, free to leave and come back to me. One year. You know we can't keep doing this. My mom is eventually going to find out and you'll be sent away for more than one year. A house invasion is illegal, Nik could go to jail and you could go to borstal institution or something! Do you want that?"

Billie sighs in defeat, clearly rethinking the situation.
Seeing her actually accepting the unavoidable brings tears to my eyes. I can't hold them back anymore.

She's leaving me. There's no other way.

The realization finally hits me and it's worse than I expected.

"I don't want you to leave.", I croak weakly, snuggling closer to her on my bed.

She notices that I'm openly crying and brings her fingers up to my cheeks to wipe my tears away.

"I don't want to leave you either."

"Let's not bargain your brother with any more guilt though, okay?", I whimper through my small breakdown.

She nods once and kisses my forehead.
"Please stop crying. I can't..."

"It's not fair. I just got you, I can't lose you now, I just-", a sob escapes my lips and she blinks rapidly, trying to hold back her own tears. "We didn't have any time. It's too early."

"I know.", her voice breaks along with my heart and in a quick but quiet motion, she hugs me tightly, burying her face in my hair.

"You'll come back, right? We'll graduate together, right?"