This is a Safe Place.

8/10/19

Do you guys acknowledge the fact that we need one more read to be at 300 READS?? I know that it's not a big deal to a lot of people but for me it is because I'm really proud of this book and what people have told me that it's done for them. Anyways, without further ado... the entry.

8/10/19

So I was playing guitar today as per usual and my dad joins on the drums. We end up working through a few covers and then me, being irrational, gets upset that I can't play this song correctly on the first try and that I don't have the right pedal (being a whiney 'b' word). I wasn't actually taking my anger/frustration out on my dad (I've been working on that recently) but my mom came in and began yelling at me for "yelling at dad" which I hadn't even raised my voice. If anything, I actually lowered it because I was crying. My mom is just like that though, you're in one room with another person and you feel so trapped, like anything you say can be taken as you're being 'disrespectful' to the other person. So, I tried to explain that to her and we ended up yelling at each other because her coming into the room when I'm working things out CALMLY is really unnecessary and it stresses me out even more. I kept trying to tell her "you're making this worse" because at this point, I was so flustered and grounding exercises aren't even in my vocabulary. She didn't respond to that badly but she just kept saying "right, but..." which really pissed me off.

To end on a happier note, I'm hanging out with my friend pearl4g or Pearl Ham. If you want to, spam her conversations wall with "hey, bean" because she'll just love that.

Love you all,
   Stay strong,
      Don't give up.

-C