This is a Safe Place.

12-05-19 - Elian Groff

This great work, titled in my email "Something That is Kind of Different, was submitted by Elian Groff!

A/N from Elain Groff: I am here to take advantage of the "Safe Space" and push it to its limit. >:)

This isn't one particular day, or event in my life but more of a handful of unique aspects of my personality.

First of all, I have a fear of being normal, and I could write an entire entry on it. Summed up however there was and still is sorta an issue in my life which is the fear of what seemed like random things connected with normality, ordinariness, vanity, insignificance, foolishness, and unintelligence. That is still about 50% mystery to me.

Anyway from my odd personality and maybe partially from that fear I have created different aspects of my life that may be interesting but honestly will probably just wired you out.

First of all, I have built separate personalities to represent separate people, who I talk to all the time in my head. I don't think I have Multiple Personality Disorder or Bipolar but this stuff weirds people out a lot which I guess is understandable.

Lloyd, the abstraction psychology and my social interactions. He would be the person debatably skilled in determining what to do in a social environment. He attempts to fix my social insecurities and etc.

Logic, one of my personal favorites. The person who re-frames situations and comes up with the best answer to most of my issues. The essence of reason and -as the name implies- logic.

Landon, he is the person who represents my relationship with my creator; my Christianity. He would be constantly debating logic into being more dependant on God. He also has anger issues as a personality flaw.

Lydia, the representation of my emotional connection to my creator. One could say she's is my spirit or is an emotion, Landon.

Link, the representation of my humor. Very sarcastic and has made some historical comebacks. He also is the most annoying and continuously conflicts with Landon.

Lewis, the representation of all my stories and writing skill(or lack thereof). I have created a massive multiverse with over 100 pages of documentation and hundreds of characters. He keeps track of that.

I also love to add lore to literally anything(I nearly cried when I threw my iPhone dramatically into a creek, his name was Ham. :/) and this was no exception. Logic is used to be called Neo(just some trivia). There used to be a guy named Theo. He died. Also, Lilly and Luke(representations of political extremes; leftist and rightist) were removed. And Lucy was exiled.

It is also kinda fun to record the conversations of these characters, which is what I am doing my new book Logic Has Left the Conversation(*cough cough* plug).

I also write letters to myself, about twice or three times a week and answer them back as my imaginary mentor Markus Wild. You know, as you do. I am not sure whether he would appreciate me sharing this but hey, whatever, this is a safe place.

Also, Lucy used to represent my sentiment which I purged after it proved a threat. Once again, as you do. I mean sentiment as in, you give me a blackberry soda and I pass out. Why? Because of previous events with blackberries. And threat as in someone gave me a blackberry soda and I almost passed out. Not a real friendship builder. So she is exiled for a few years. She didn't mind.

One more thing. I created an imaginary interface for controlling myself. It is basically a hologram screen I can open with swiping my wrist near my forehead and can control by swiping my fingers in the air about a foot from my eyes. My different personalities or "abstract friends" also are here as programs(think... Siri).

With this interface, I also can change my setting, create and delete personalities, and equipped imaginary worlds where I play that I am. I even had separate programs as nodes on the screen. Also when something insane happens or I am having a mental breakdown(probs a bit dramatic). I can't walk completely well, I spill my water over my shirt, and even sometimes I fall, laying on the ground for a half of an hour before standing up. That happens rarely though, and only when there's a PIO which can be an entire entry in an of itself.

This is probably enough, probably too much. For me, in my head, there is me and this weird monster called emotions. Not that I am afraid of it but just super interested and have no clue how it works. Logically, I have yet to find an argument against openness.

Life is way too short. If I had the choice to freeze time for eternity except for me. I would take it in a heartbeat. Time is more valuable than anything else.

Signing out. This is Elian Groff, ElianGroff