Hormones

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A/N: I don't know where the hell this came from, its super weird. And kinda gross... All I know is that I'll be cringing. Enjoy while suffer in Hellhiem ;]

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Age: 17-18 (Rtte season 3)

Couples: None

Place: Dragon's Edge

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The gang, minus Astrid, were waiting at the docks for her arrival.

"She's late." Hiccup stated, looking out through his spy glass.

"I'm sure she's fine. It's Astrid!" Snotlout said, not caring about her arrival.

"He's right, Hiccup. She's Astrid, she'll be fine!" Fishlegs reassured, knowing Hiccup secretly had feelings for their friend.

"But what if she's not? What if-"

"Hey guys, look over there!" Tuff suddenly cried out, pointing to the east. The rest did, and they saw three dragon's flying in. As they got closer, they saw it was Stoick, Gobber and Astrid. While the gang greeted their former chief, Hiccup and Astrid ran up to each other and shared a tight embrace, unaware of Hiccup's Father watching.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, Son." Stoick said flatly. Hiccup let go of Astrid and turned to Stoick.

"Why?" He asked, generally curious.

"Your about to find out. Come, son. We need to talk." Stoick said, placing a hand on Hiccup's back and walking away with him. Astrid raised an eyebrow, suspicious.

"What're they going to talk about?" Astrid asked, turning to Gobber. The rest of the gang nodded in agreement.

"Not telling," Gobber stated stubbornly, stamping his peg-leg, crossing his arms and turning away like an ignorant three year old.

"I wouldn't be too sure about that, Gobber." Ruff said, smirking evilly with her brother.

Meanwhile, Hiccup was very confused.

"So..." He started, hoping his Father would pick up.

"Right, yes. Okay... So, every 50 or so years... There's a child born." He started.

"I'm... aware, of that, Dad. Try telling me something new." Hiccup said.

"That child... has an... issue, revolving around their hormones." Stoick started, finding this extremely awkward.

"Dad... where is this going?" Hiccup asked, warily. He stopped walking and looked at his dad.

"That child's hormones play up... every couple of weeks when their teenagers... and their a bit extra... hormonal? And that child turned out to be you."

"So, what are you saying?" Hiccup asked, ignoring the point like usual. Stoick facepalmed.

"Hiccup, what I'm saying, is that you could've gotten Astrid with child because of that hug!" He was saying softly, not wanting the whole world to hear his son's issues.

Hiccup's eyes widened, and he sat down on a nearby rock. He put his head in his hands.

"Well that's just great, Dad." Hiccup said sarcastically. "You said every couple of weeks, how do I tell?"

"Gothi said you should feel a small... buzzing, in your abdominals area. Ya feel it?" Stoick asked his son, feeling sorry for him. There was a moment of silence before Hiccup nodded his head. He had been feeling it the last week, it was really starting to annoy him. He sighed. Hiccup looked up to face his Father.

"What do I do?" he asked, feeling small.

"Nothing, son. It's just the best to stay roughly five feet away from any woman." He said sadly, placing a hand on his son's shoulder. 

Hiccup looked down, ashamed. 

Great, he thought. I've been diagnosed with some sort of hormonal desease where I can get any woman with child. Hooray. 

Hiccup sighed, not knowing what to do now. His Father pulled him into a hug, but something about it made Hiccup break down.

"There, there, son, it's going to be okay," he reassured.

With Gobber

"Your never going to make me tell you!" Gobber repeated, since The twins got Barf and Belch to build a wall of fire around him. "Besides, now I can't hear you, and you can't hear me!" He yelled over the fires crackling.

"Guys, as much as I want to know what they're talking about right now, we can't." Fishlegs said to the twins.

"It's an invasion of Privacy!" Astrid added. Soon enough, when the fire was put out, Hiccup and Stoick walked into the clubhouse, Hiccup still occasionally sniffing.

"Hiccup! Are you okay?" Astrid asked, placing her hand on Hiccup's shoulder. He looked at her with a sad smile and gently pushed away her hand.

"It's best if you don't know," He whispered before walking to his hut. Astrid just looked on, wondering.

"He's right, lass." Stoick said, before him and Gobber left for Berk once more.

A/N: Lol what the fuck is this? I'm sick, so don't expect much less. And it sucks ballz, too, since I was sick like three weeks ago! Fuckin? Is someone gonna EXpLAiN?

Sorry, swearing. oof. Idc. Anyway, I'm going to listen to some lasagna, and then write you guys another one-shot crappy thing that I honestly don't know what it is.

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Published: 18 August, 2019

Word count: 790

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-Cloudie!

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