WEIGHT LOSS JOURNEY AS A TEENAGER

My journal for 1️⃣ & 2️⃣

I started off this Wattpad journey at around Week 3, so I didn't write about Week 1 and 2. I wrote them in my personal diary instead and just thought of sharing it because those were the times when I really struggled a lot. So here are some thoughts/difficulties I faced!

WEEK ONE:

For week one, I only had one day whereby I followed the healthy diet. Other days I did cheat by eating waffles, muffin, which was high in sugar and I'm not supposed to consume them. Around Thursday, after weighing myself, knowing that I lost weight, I let loose of myself and started to give in to temptations! I ate after my fasting period thinking that I wouldnt gain so much. End up, on Sunday/ Monday morning when I woke up, I could immediately feel that Im back to the original weight I started on Monday. 

I realized how easy it is to gain weight for me and how easy I give in to temptations. Therefore, for this week, the ACTUAL week, I am going to do a strict diet. Week one was me trying out the diets and getting used to how it feels, this week would be different! This week I can going to follow the strict diet and say no to snacks straight. Im obsessed with bread and my mom just recently bought cakes ☹ but, I am not going to consume it! Its only DAY8 and Ive yet to achieve my 100 days goal. Lets do it! I want to really change and get out of this shape. This is not myself and I want to change it! In need of reminders to tell myself:

You can have the cravings u had for an hour, or u can choose to have the body youve been wanting for months, years, weeks and days.

#DAY 8 1/7/19

Today I ate healthy, towards dinner time when the rest had their dinner I was feeling a little hungry and wanted to eat something but after waiting for awhile it felt much better to not eat. Somehow I got very angry when my mom asked me to eat the damn cheesecake which I dont want to eat. Avoiding the cookies and cheesecakes

#DAY9 2/7/19

Today I ate more than usual. Breakfast I was craving peanut butter so much I ate 3 peanut butter toast with banana! As usual, my green tea and for lunch/dinner I ate a pear, a cheesecake from coffee bean and a wrap with chicken breast, carrots and sweet potato. The wrap was good though. I am full, and I doubt my weight will go down today because of that cheesecake. It tastes good but also, I felt really bloated after eating it. Oh wells. I ate more peanut butter today and I realized that might be the reason why my acne is coming up again. So, Im avoiding peanut butter now. Its a heaty food. Currently its around 5.30pm and I dont feel so hungry, so I guess everythings okay. Its already day 2 and I dont know why my face is so freaking bloated. Going to do my abs workout as usual today.\

#DAY13 6/7/19

Well I'm not sure if it is day 13 today but anyways today our family is celebrating my sisters birthday therefore we ate pizza, cake. Well.. thats quite a lot of things we ate! Also I snacked a lot today, mostly because I'm at home and theres nothing to do. So I realized something about my body today, is that I dont really find myself being full. As in I can feel my stomach expanding and reaching its limit but my mouth doesnt stop eating. Like last time I would control myself because I would feel like vomiting when I ate a lot but this time its different I dont feel any of that. So I came to a conclusion that I should stop eating to test whether I get hungry or not. Instead I should put in more effort in listening to my body especially my stomach, telling me that its full. I just want to keep reminding myself that I dont have to keep eating ya. I'm only seventeen and there's a lot of food out there for me to try in the future. Dont make it a habit to eat out of boredom.

#DAY15 8/7/19

I feel so horrible today in the morning. I even thought of skipping school, because I really hated how I look, how my face Is so FAT. I can even feel the double chin, so uncomfortable. By the way, today is my first day of intermittent fasting. I'm doing the 16:8 hours fast. So today I broke fast at 10am, ended my fast at 5pm. My next meal would be at 11am or 12pm. I end school at 1pm tomorrow. So I'm not sure if I can last till 1pm and have my first meal. I just want to hurry up and lose weight, get over with it once and for all, feel good and look good once again and have my confidence BACK on track.  Its already day 15 and plus I even bought new clothes, hoping that I can lose weight and fit in them in the future. But anyways yeah I telling myself that "I'm fasting" is definitely better than telling myself that "I'm dieting" and should stop eating. Fasting sounds more healthy. Oh yeah I experienced something so pathetic today. I was craving to eat cakes, so I took a bite, swallowed once, and then spit out the rest. Wow right. Never imagined myself to do that. Hate myself for that but I know I wouldnt feel good eating it so. Yeah must as well dont eat it and that other people can have it. Although its week3 and my appearance hasnt made any changes but this 2 weeks helped me to get through my thoughts about eating healthy and resisting my temptations. Oh yeh. End of story for today. Cya.