The First

.18.

The next morning I woke up feeling miserable. 

All I could think about was Latrelle. I couldn't help but cry at the thought that someone that young got killed. And by someone I knew. 

My mama came and checked on me and saw that I was crying. 

"Whats wrong baby girl?" She said as she sat in bed with me.

I wanted to tell her everything but if she knew she'd try to move again and she was finally settling in her new life. 

"Nothing mama. I just woke up feeling emotional." I lied. 

"Dont lie to me child. You're my baby. I know something is wrong" she replied. 

I sighed and told her the truth. 

"Word is that one of my friends got shot" I said.

"Oh my lord! Who? Please don't tell me its that Cesar boy. I know he's in that Mexican gang" my mama said. 

"No mama. They're alright. It was just another friend I had." I replied. 

"Oh thank the Lord. But I'm so sorry baby girl. I hate to tell you this, but that's part of life. We are all put on this earth for a reason. Maybe it was that kids time to go. Regardless of how his life was taken. He's an angel now. All we can do is pray for light Tasha" my mama said as she held me tight. 

I broke down and started crying again.

"Let it out baby girl." She said while rubbing my back.

After letting out all my tears, my mama told me to shower and get dressed so she can take me out for breakfast. 

We went out and mama took me shopping after breakfast to try and cheer me up.

Once we got back home, I got ready for my date with Jamal.

Part of me didn't want to go. I just wanted to stay home with mama and watch movies till I knocked out. But mama told me to go out and stay distracted.

Once Jamal arrived, we got in the uber and headed to Applebee's.

"So how're you doing? You seemed out of it last night" Jamal said. 

"Yeah Im better. Truthfully I was just surprised to hear about the Latrelle thing. I know he did fucked up shit but he still was a kid. He had time to change" I replied.

Jamal sighed. 

"You're right Tasha. But we can't control other people. We can only control ourselves, our emotions, our own actions and mostly how we treat people while they were on this earth. Latrelle was kind of a shitty person. But you treated him like he was still human, so you did your part. I know about you going with him to the ER. I came by after work and your neighbor told me you left with some curly haired boy who had gotten shot. That was a really nice thing yoi did. So you shouldn't have any regrets about Latrelle" Jamal confessed. 

"You knew? Why didn't you say something?" i asked. 

"Why didn't you?" He asked back. 

"I didn't want to hurt you." I said. 

"Hiding shit from me hurts more than you just telling me up front." Jamal replied. 

I sat quietly and thought about what he had just said. 

"You're right. Im sorry. I should have been honest." I said.

"Don't worry it's fine babe. I wasn't mad at you about it. Let's just try and make the best of the evening" Jamal said. 

I smiled at him and rested my head on his shoulder as we continued on our way to Applebee's. 

Jamal had made me feel safe and I had finally forgotten about Latrelle. 

We got to Applebee's and had an amazing date. Jamal was such a romantic. Afterwards we decided to get frozen yogurt and take a walk in the park.

He walked me all the way home and we kissed goodnight.