The First

.21.

The next morning I woke up and got ready for school

Jamal didn't pick me up for school which was odd. 

I figured it was because I blew him off yesterday. 

Once I got to school, I went straight to class and saw Jamal. He looked up at me and looked away in disappointment.

"Hey you. I'm sorry about last night. I fell asleep" I said while sitting next to him.

"Yeah with Latrelle." He said under his breath.

"What?" I asked.

"Look Tasha I really don't wanna talk right now. Class is gonna start soon" Jamal said. 

The whole period I could feel the tension between us. 

As soon as class was over he got up and left.

I sighed and went to my next class. 

Instead of going to lunch I decided to hang out in the library since I didn't have much of an appetite. 

As soon as class was over I went straight home and did my homework.

After eating dinner with my mama, she left to work.

I sat in my room and contemplated calling Jamal when I heard a knock at the door.

It was him. 

I let him in and he quietly walked into my bed room.

“We need to talk” Jamal said.

“Yeah we do” I replied. 

“Can you explain why I saw Latrelle leaving your house last night when I came over to check on you?” Jamal asked. 

I sat on the bed and looked at him,

“Look, I’m sorry. It’s just that… he and I have been friends. He would come over for a safe place to hang out and just be himself. Yesterday he had come by to thank me for helping him because he was leaving town.” I said. 

“Why didn't you tell me that you were cool with Latrelle?” he asked.

“I didn’t want things to be weird between us. I know that you’re friends with Cesar and Spooky. Plus I didn’t think you’d be okay with it.” I replied. 

“You should have just been honest with me from the beginning. So this whole time, you’ve been friends with the guy who shot Ruby, killed our friend Olivia and tried to kill Cesar. I see where your loyalty lies. Im guessing you been sleeping with him too. Because it’s been a while since we’ve had sex. You had to be getting it from somewhere else.” Jamal said. 

I felt my heart sink into my stomach and I sat there quietly. 

“I guess I got my answer then. You have been letting him hit it. That’s good to know. After I told you that you were my first love, you go and do this to me? I don’t think I can do this with you Tasha.” Jamal said while heading out of my room. 

“Jamal wait. Stop. Yes, I did let him smash. One thing lead to another and things got out of hand. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t love you. I do. You were all I could think about. I’m sorry” I quickly said while going after Jamal.

“If you really loved me you wouldn’t have done what you did. Period.” Jamal replied.

“Babe… please don’t go. I wanna fix this” I begged,

“No Tasha. There is no fixing this. It’s over. You cheated on me. You never really loved me. And that’s fine. I just wish you wouldn’t have lead me along  all this time. I should have known better though. A girl like you would never be interested in a guy like me.” he said.