The First

.22.

The next morning Jamal picked me up to walk to school. 

The first thing he did was kiss me and slide my phone out of my back pocket. 

“Good morning to you too babe” I said as we headed to school. 

Jamal scrolled through my phone, checked my messages and my instagram.

“Sorry but you agreed to this. Its gonna take some time for me to trust you again” Jamal replied. 

He passed me my phone back and held my hand as we made it to school. 

Once we got to class, everything felt normal. He walked me to my classes and picked me up afterwards. 

I had Math last period and some kid named Tony asked me to help him with a math problem after class. 

I immediately agreed but then remembered that Jamal didn’t want me talking to anyone. 

“So about the math problem. I’m sorry I can’t help you.” I said to Tony after class finished

“But wait why? I thought you said you could help me. I really need to pass this class to stay on the football team” Tony replied. 

I looked at him and shook my head no.

“I’m sorry. I just can’t help you. Maybe someone else can” I replied as I packed up my notebook. 

I headed out of class and Tony ran up behind me. 

“Why can’t you help me? You’re the only person who really understood the equation.” he said. 

Jamal walked up to me and grabbed my hand. 

“Is there a problem babe?” Jamal asked me. 

“No, no problem. Tony asked me for help on a math equation. I was just telling him I cant help” I said to Jamal. 

“I see. Well my brother, she can’t help you. Sorry bout that. Maybe you should ask your teacher instead” Jamal said. 

He started to walk away and I followed. 

I could tell he was annoyed.

“Sorry about that babe, I didn’t ask him to talk to me” I replied. 

“Yeah, right. Let’s just go home” Jamal said.

I stopped and pulled him back.

“No. We’re gonna talk. I know you don’t trust me. I get that. I respect that. But I can not control when other guys talk to me. I can only control my response to them. I made a promise to you and I haven’t broken it yet. I let you go through my phone, I let you walk me to every class and monitor who I talk to. And I do it without an attitude because I know I deserve it. But honestly Jamal, if you’re going to blame me and give me attitude every time someone looks in my direction, I don’t think I can be with you. I love you but I don’t want to spend my last high school years in a relationship with someone who gets mad and aggravated at me for other people’s actions that I cannot control.” I said. 

“You’re right. I’m sorry Tasha. It’s just… Honestly… I wasn’t surprised by you and Latrelle. I know I’m a dork, I’m not the most attractive guy either. I may be clingy and I don’t have that bad guy side to me like most girls like. I know I’m not the ideal guy most girls want to be seen with. Especially girls that look like you.” Jamal admitted. 

I took a deep breath and looked Jamal in his eyes. 

“Jamal, you are one of the most sexiest, most sweetest, funniest, cutest, most caring person I’ve ever met. You need to stop discrediting yourself babe. The moment I laid eyes on you I started crushing. I don’t care about what other girls like. I like you. I like that you’re smart, and that you’re into science. I like that you’re a safe person. You’re always prepared and I love that about you. Everything you just mentioned that you’re not… are the same reasons why I like you so much. I think you’re perfect and I wouldn’t want you to change. I know I fucked up with Latrelle. But that wasn’t because you lacked anything. It was just me being stupid.” i replied. 

“Thank you for that baby girl. I really needed to hear that. I’m sorry for how I’ve been acting. I’ll make an effort to tone it down a bit” Jamal said. 

“You can continue doing what you’re doing. I don’t have anything to hide. I just don’t want you getting an attitude with me because someone else decided to ask me a question” I replied. 

“I promise” Jamal said. 

“Good. Now let’s go home. I have to shower and change for dinner with your parents” I replied.