Stigma {Kim Taehyung FF}✔

27

The day was dragging on. Normally you were cheerful, and enjoyed what you were doing, but the mix of refusing to go into little space, and the weird emotions you had been feeling, you couldn't find yourself enjoying classes.

You unconsciously sighed loudly every time someone tried to speak to you, making a few people uncomfortable, and had rolled your eyes every time you took a new picture.

"What's wrong? Don't like the photos?" Taehyung asked, eyebrows furrowed. You felt yourself grown unnecessarily annoyed. "If I liked them, would I keep talking the same picture? This is annoying and I'm tired of taking pictures today."

Taehyung raised his eyebrows in surprise. Never, not once, even when you were in big space, had you snapped at him like that. Of course, speaking of after Taehyung had finally accepted you as a friend.

Know he was starting to understand what your mother meant. You were unusually closed off, and he noticed how short your temper had been during your class together. "Are you okay?"

You paused and looked at him. You felt your heart squeeze at the look he gave you, one full of concern and alert. He was ready to pounce on an opportunity to help you out of your jam.

For some reason this hit you hard. You felt your eyes water, and your stomach began to flip. "I-I don't know what's wrong." Your voice cracked, and your tone was helpless and broken.

Taehyung panicked and pulled you into a tight hug, "Hey, calm down. It's okay." The sudden hug seemed to make it worse as you began to sob. It was scary to you.

Even in the tight hug that you had felt protected in before, you felt anxious and ready to run. Your heart pounded in a horrible way, and you began to struggle in his hold.

"P-Please let go! Please don't touch me!" You called out, breaking yourself from his hold. It did nothing as you began to breath harder, fear consuming your body.

By now a crowd has gathered around you both, staring in concern as you put your hand to your chest and tried to breath. Your body was shaking rapidly and your eyes were twitching. You didn't know what was happening but you were terrified.

Once realizing you were having what seemed like a panic attack, Taehyung jumped into action, and put his hands on your shoulders. He crouched down to look into your eyes and began to speak, "Y\N, look at me. I need to go look at me."

You did you hardest to fight off the urge to push him away and looked into his eyes timidly. "C-Can't Br-" He held your cheeks, "I know, clumsy. I need to you count backwards from ten, okay?"

You tried to do as he said, doing your best to focus on the numbers. "Good..Good. Now look at me again." You did. "Breathe in. Now out. In. Out." You followed his slow rhythm, and eventually found your breath again.

Your tears were still falling, but you felt your breath come in longer spouts. You glance around at the people around you, and noticed the professor sta ding with the nurse and the nurse. You looked to the floor and began to walk towards them, legs feeling weak.

The nurse took you into his hold carefully, and began to escort you out of the room, Taehyung following closely behind. Once at the nurse, he looked at Taehyung, "I think it's best if you leave. She needs to be alone at the moment."

Taehyung looked sad, and glance at you, slightly hurt that you refused to look at him. Truth was, you didn't want to be around anyone right now. Including Taehyung. He nodded silently and walked away.

The nurse sat you on one of the beds, and told you to lay down for a bit, and went to go make some phone calls. After a while he returned, and said your mother was on her way. You nodded shortly, and turned your back to him, a few more tears slipping out of your eyes.

You were so embarrassed and ashamed of yourself. You had never had a panic attack before. Sure you've gotten sad, and angry, but never had you been so short of breath. It was a scary experience and you had no idea what caused it. What if it happened again? You didn't want to go through that again.

You had lost track of just how much time had passed before you felt a light hand lay on your shoulder. "Baby, what happened?" Your mother whispered, her voice trembling. You had done so well the past few years, slowly rising to a happier existence. Now it seemed like you were right back at the bottom.

You ignored her question and sat up, grabbing your discarded bag. "I'm tired. Home please." You whispered. You shuffled over to the door, and opened it for your mother to exit.

The woman hesitated before sighing and exiting.

You followed behind with your head down, making sure your mothers shoes were in your sight, something that oddly comforted you at the moment. I'm not alone, I'm not lost. I'm here. Mom's here.

You both exited the building, your body shivering as the cooling air nipped at your cheeks, painting them a darker red than they already held. You wrapped your arms around yourself like a shield. You despised the cold at the moment.

Once in the car, your mother turned to you after starting the car and blasting the heater. "Tell me what happened." You turned your head away from her, "Nothing happened. Just having an off day."

"An off day? Y/N, its okay to be upset after what those old shits did to you, you know that right? You don't have to hide it, no one will judge you for being hurt."

You scoffed loudly,"I'm not hurt, mom." You turned to her, and felt your facade tumble, "I'm petrified. What would have happened to me, had something happened slightly different? They left me abandoned on a road in the middle of no where! Now I can't look at someone without thinking to myself 'What if they leave?' 'What if they try to hurt me?' 'What if they don't want me in their life anymore?'"

You let out a choked sob, "I don't want to be alone, I don't want people to leave. I can't handle being alone, I hate the feeling!"

"The feeling of what, Y/N? Being alone?"

You shook your head as you sobbed.

"I don't want to be left behind! I don't want to be at the end of every line! I don't want to be left unknowing with no one to guide me, help me. I don't want to be by myself."

"I don't want to be without him."

I just-
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