As time passes <CHANLIX>

Hoodie~

Felix:

"Shit.. shit.. shit! Chan knows.. what am I meant to do? Do I tell Minho, but if I tell Minho he'll force me to live with him like last time and I don't want to burden him again.."

I just woke up and I'm getting reading for school. I'm trying to give myself advice on what to do because my stupid ass decided it was a great idea to keep my old blades. Which I don't use anymore btw. I just keep them to remind myself I'm strong and I don't need to hurt myself.

They're a symbol of survival. I survived my darkest most stupid time. However it turns out I'm still stupid.

"Okay Felix just pretend everything is normal. Don't act weird.. gosh here we go."

I walk out of my apartment and walk to school. Today it was lightly raining, I kinda like the rain. I like the sounds of the droplets hitting my umbrella, it's soothing.

I like to listen to my music as well. It makes with my anxiety, I like listening to artists like Jeremy Zucker and Joji. I like the soft vocals and the abstract beats, 'slow dancing in the dark' is my favourite.

"You should be with him I can't compete~ you looked at me like I was someone else~ oh well~.... but can't you see~... I don't wanna slow dance in the dark... dark~"

I quietly mumble the words to myself as I enter the school. That song... it means a lot, I'd rather see people I love with other people apart from me because I know one day I'll be left in the dark...

"Felix! Get your ass here right now!"

Shit... Minho.

What does he want and why does he seems so mad? Please tell me the nurse didn't say anything.

"Wha- Hey! Minho let go you're hurting me.."

"You're coming to my office we need to talk.."

Wow he seems really mad... Minho wouldn't be this made if he found out would he? I need to explain myself.

We make it to his office and before Minho could open his mouth I started to explain.

"I only did it because I was upset about Changbin. He left me Minho! I felt alone and I did it okay! I'm sorry! I'm.. so.. so sorry"

I tried to keep my tears in.

"So you did it!? Just because someone cheated on you?! Felix I can't believe you, you would have never done something like this!"

I was even more upset that Minho was shouting at me because of it. He's normally understanding and keeps me calm.. maybe he's had enough of me, maybe he sees me as a burden...

"I know it was stupid... but I promise I'll never do it again. It was in the moment, I felt awful about myself and I just did it. I even promised you I would never do it again.."

Suddenly it was silent.. I look up from lap and wipe my tears as I see Minho liking thoughtful.

"You've done it before?"

"You were there! Why can't you remember?!"

"I was there!? Felix I have never been in the same room as you whilst you've shagged someone!"

What? What is he talking about?

"Um... shagging?"

Shit.. shit.. I've gotten myself into big trouble now.

"Yeah, Jisung saw Chan and you leave school together yesterday and so he followed you guys and found out you let him into your apartment and he didn't leave until 10:48 last night.."