As time passes <CHANLIX>

Moved on... ish

Felix

"No Hyung I don't want to do this.. you know I'm not great with social interactions."

I'm having the same talk with my friend Jackson.. every year he pressures me into going to a stupid trainee trial. However every year I decline or run away for a little bit so I miss the trials.

"Felix stop being so annoying, why can't you realise your talent needs to be shown and appreciated."

"Well there's my social anxiety and also the fact it's in Seoul. Jackson Hyung I left that place for a reason.."

I've told Jackson why I left Seoul and I told him parts of my past. However not all of it, somethings need to be kept a secret.

I left Seoul because I was broken. I don't think anyone realises how broken I really was. I was cheated on, I was toyed with, I was kidnapped and almost died. I need led a new life.

It was either kill myself to stop the suffering and constant self hatred or reinvent myself and become someone completely different.

Of course I miss the people who I left behind, but maybe they're better off without me..

"Felix I get that you're worried that someone from your past will see you, but remember there a hundreds of thousands of people in Seoul. I think you won't see them."

I guess that may be true and I bet all of them have moved on with their lives.

The only person I hope still thinks about me is Minho.

I wonder what he's doing now. I hope him and Jisung are happy. I wonder if Seungmin and Woojin worked out and... and I wonder if Chan regrets that day...

It doesn't matter he's probably moved on. He's probably gone back to his old fuck boy ways...

"So Felix? Will you go?"

"I guess, what's the worst that could happen?"

Jackson smiles brightly and then rushes over to my room. He only took a second before he drags my suitcase out.

"It's already packed. Let's get on the road! Daeju to Seoul is a long journey."

I'm stand in awe at Jackson's impeccable skill.

"You know I would go?"

"No I always do this, every year I pack it. However I finally get to use it. Now lets go lix!"

Jackson drags me out of the house and shoved me playfully into the car.

I laugh at Jackson's playfulness and thank my lucky stars I found someone like him.

The first time I met Jackson was the night I left. I never entered Minho's house. I just left and headed towards the local park. I thought I would stay there until someone came and stabbed me. However instead of a violent killer I met Jackson who was worried and caring. He asked if I had anywhere to go, I said no, so in the bed Jackson took me in and then a couple of weeks later Jackson and me moved to Daeju because of his work.

When Jackson took me in he would feed me and care for me. At first I thought he were like brothers. However as the years went on and I grew up... the relationship changed a bit. I wasn't a child anymore and I guess Jackson hyung liked that and I guess so did I.

So as feeling developed and we got drunk one night, we ended up becoming boyfriends. He's the only thing that makes me feel happy and myself.

"I'm so happy you said to this. I can't wait to see you on that stage shining like the star you are babe."