Living My Best Life - Stony

two

"Wait Tony's coming here?"

"Steve, he has to. He's our only hope, you've seen the shit he's been through." I glared at Nat and walked out of the kitchen and into my bedroom.

I hadn't seen Tony in over 10 years and suddenly they expected me to be on board with whatever they were planning. No. I couldn't do that. I knew he was sober but I couldn't let myself see him every day. It pains me now to even hear his name and see his picture on a tv screen let alone actually speak to him and work with him. But, this isn't about me.

He's moving in in a few hours.

For the first couple of days, I ignored him - couldn't do much else. But then it got into meetings and bumping into each other in the hallway and I started to tolerate him again but as soon as I did, a wave of emotions came and I couldn't control myself so I shut myself up again and couldn't talk to him for a while. He respected me, called me Steve or Cap and acted professional so I tried to do the same. We turned out to be friends and after about a month of him living with us, I was okay with him being there. I could tell by the way he spoke to me that he missed me as much as I missed him but I couldn't give in. Not now, not ever.

Obviously that was gonna have to change in the future, but who could blame me?

I woke up one day at about half past three having just gone through a major nightmare and I got up to get water and something to eat. Unfortunately, I wasn't alone in the kitchen.

I walked in with just some pyjama bottoms on and Tony was sat at the table taking a nap. I sat down in the seat next to him and gently shook his shoulder.

"Hey." He woke with a start, panicked, saw me, and relaxed.

"Bloody hell Cap, you just scared the shit out of me."

"Sorry," I laughed. "You okay? You look exhausted."

"I'm fine, I don't sleep well anymore so I'm always tired but it's fine, I deal with it." I frowned.

"That's not good. Why can't you sleep?"

"Nightmares. You?"

"Nightmares." I stood up and got some water.

"I'm sorry."

"Not your fault."

"No, I mean for ten years ago. I couldn't handle it, I took it out on myself. You were right to get yourself out of there, god knows what I would've done if you didn't."

"I would've stuck around to help."

"I would've hurt you way more than I already did and fuck, I regret it so much. So fucking much." I took a sip of my water.

"Still not your fault." He didn't say anything until I grabbed an apple and turned to leave.

"Nat told me what happens when you wake up." I turned around, my brain melting.

"What?"

"She said you scream."

"Yeah, that's not all I do," I muttered. I didn't think he could hear me but of course he could.

"I know. She said you ask for me."

"So what if I do?"

"I hurt you that badly. And I feel like shit for it."

"It's fine."

"Steve, that's not something you can shake off and call fine."

"Well then it's whatever."

"It's not whatever! When I finally sobered up, the first thing I wanted to do was call you, say I was sorry, try to take you back but I knew you wouldn't have it so I tried, fuck I tried, to stay away, and now look. We're fighting over something that happened ten years ago. And fuck, I don't blame you. I blamed myself. For years. And I still do. But, as you said, it's whatever, right? You don't care. Your past means nothing to you and I'm just someone who gets in the way. Fine, I get it, I fucked up your life, but that doesn't mean you can't forgive me, does it? I was taken, it gave me plenty of time to think about high school. How much of a dick I was to some people. Maybe I am still that dick to some people, I don't know, I lost touch with so many people that I knew wouldn't wanna see me again and you were on that list, but it's taking all of my self restraint to not some up to you and hug you and say I was sorry. It's taking everything. And you call it whatever."

 I was so confused that I just dropped the glass I was holding and yelped when it smashed. And I turned around to leave, but before I did I looked over my shoulder. He had tears running down his face, he was staring at the floor, crouching down and holding a particularly sharp-looking piece of glass.

He can do that to himself if he wants.

No.

You shouldn't care.

But I do.

That was all it took for me to step over the water, gently remove the glass from Tony's hand and hug him tight.

"I'm sorry. You're right, it's not whatever. And I do care, obviously I care. But if we're gonna do this then we can't just pick up where we left off." I looked at Tony's arm and thankfully there was no new cuts. Thank god I'd turned back around.

"What happened? I heard yelling and a smash and... oh shit." I looked up at Nat and she nodded and left, ushering Bruce off at the same time. Tony breathed a small laugh and I smiled.

"I should put you to bed." We were sat on the floor so I stood up and carried him back to his room, opened the door, flicked the light on and gently set him down, pulling the duvet over his chest.

"Hey what is that?"

"What's what?"

"The blue thing."

"Oh, that. It's saving my life right now but I need a counter supplement for it before it kills me. It's fine, I'm fine for now," he added after looking at my face.

"Right. Well I'm gonna go to bed but I'll see you tomorrow." I flicked off the light and was about to shut the door when I heard a small voice.

"Stay with me. Please." I looked at him. He was sat back up with his back against the headboard and I nodded and sat down with him.

"Sure."

That was the first night in a while where either of us got a good sleep.

Kinda rushed but oh well, hope you enjoy :)