Living My Best Life - Stony

five

Tony fell asleep on my shoulder while we were still watching the film. I didn't wanna wake him but I couldn't sleep with him on my shoulder so I gently picked him up and moved him into his bed. I pulled the duvet over his shoulders and left a lamp on. I'd been sleeping in his room frequently but I couldn't now because I realised something had happened to my brain and it was stressing me out.

I was in love with Tony.

Again.

Now, the last time I was we were both in high school and it took me about a year to be okay with him but then we didn't speak for years. But I did miss him.

I went back to my room and cleaned up a little. There were old glasses on my desk and some clothes were thrown into a corner but other than that it was fine. I placed all of the glasses in the dishwasher in the kitchen and put my clothes in a laundry basket, then pulled off my clothes and put on pyjama bottoms and crawled into bed. It was cold but I didn't mind it. I fell asleep quite easily, it was about eleven at night.

About three hours later someone woke me up.

"Steve, I'm sorry, I didn't wanna wake you up but I can't be alone." I knew it was Tony. I knew I shouldn't have left him to sleep, he never has nightmares when I'm with him.

"No, it's fine." My voice was croaky and I rubbed my eyes as he slipped under my duvet. He always cuddled up to me - and I don't mind. I just don't feel like I can control myself.

"So what happened?"

"Same as always."

"How was the kid?"

"You can meet him next week, he's coming here after school."

"Really?"

"Yeah, Happy's bringing him over."

"Okay cool." I hugged him tight and he fell asleep almost instantly.

"Fuck. I love you, Tony," I whispered.

TONY'S POV

authors note - holy shit I haven't changed perspective in the same chapter in a while lmfao

"Fuck. I love you, Tony." Steve thought I was asleep. And I'd just heard him say he loved me. What do I do now? Tell him I'm awake? Pretend to be asleep? I don't fucking know. Maybe I'll just leave it until morning. It seems like the most logical idea. Yeah. We can wait until morning. He probably didn't mean it anyway. Sounds like Steve, say shit you don't mean.

Then I fell asleep.

It was about 9 in the morning when I finally woke up. It wasn't from me having an alarm or me wanting to wake up, no. It was yet another nightmare.

I sat bolt upright, looked around for a moment and sighed - there was nobody here, I was fine. Steve was next to me. Steve was next to me. I'd completely forgot (already) what he'd said last night and now it was troubling me again. Again.

"You okay? What happened?" Steve was sat up behind me.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Nightmare."

"Oh?"

"I'm fine. Well, no I'm not fine."

"How come?" Was I supposed to tell him? No. Was I going to? Yes.

"I think you thought I was asleep earlier than I was last night." Steve went pale but still frowned as if he didn't know what I meant.

"What do you mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean since you've gone pale as a sheet." He pushed the duvet off his chest.

"You heard me."

"I heard you." Steve sighed.

"At least you know."

"Were you ever planning on telling me?"

"Maybe sometime soon."

"So no. That's what you mean, just no."

"Basically."

"Steve."

"I'm sorry! I didn't know how you'd take it!"

"I would say it back."

"So why didn't you?"

"You thought I was asleep!" Although he was mad at me, he was grinning.

"Yes, alright, fair enough."

"Thank you. Also, you were half squishing me to a pulp but it's okay."

"Fuck. Sorry."

"I already said it's okay."

"I know. I just can't leave it at it's okay."

"I know you can't." I laid back down and stared at the ceiling for a while. Steve laid down next to me.

"So... what do we do now?"

"No fucking clue, Rogers. No fucking clue." Steve pulled me toward him slightly, not noticing how tight he was holding me beforehand.

"I love you too Steve." He'd better have fucking heard me. Yeah, he did. He turned a fairly light shade of pink. His arms loosened from around me and he got up, turned and stared out of the window. I sat up and crossed my legs - I turned towards him.

"You okay?" He didn't say anything so I got up and took a few small steps toward him. He had his eyes glazed over, staring into space. I tapped him on the shoulder.

"Steve?" He blinked and frowned. Then he looked over at me and looked slightly surprised but he smiled regardless.

"Did you say something?"

"Yeah. Are you okay?"

"Sorry, yeah I'm fine. Just thinking."

"Whatcha thinking?"

"Highschool. I'm sorry for leaving without trying to help you."

"You would've just been putting yourself in danger."

"I don't care." I rolled my eyes. We'd had this conversation.

"I care. I would've hurt you and then probably killed myself for hurting you. It wouldn't end well, so I'm glad you left." I pushed open the door onto the balcony and walked out, sitting down on the floor. The balcony wall was made of glass so I looked out over the lake and smiled. There were a few rocks at the side for decoration so I picked one up and threw it into the lake. A ripple effect went along the lake, starting from the landing point of the rock, delicately rolling to the water's edge.

"I'm gonna get changed." I turned around to see him leaning against the edge of the doorframe.

"Okay." I stayed staring outside for a while before Steve came back outside holding a tray. He placed it on the floor in front of me and sat down next to me. On the tray was 2 plates of scrambled eggs and toast and water for both of us.

"Eat. It's already quarter to ten, you gotta be hungry by now." He pushed the tray back and took off a plate before placing it into my hands.

"Thank you."