The Fifth Annual Writer Games: The Fall

The Fall of Pompeii - Notes and Byes and Voting

Y'all....,,,,,, I am very sorry for the shortness of these notes, and for the lateness, and for what these Games, I fear, have devolved and fallen to and the future tasks. I regret at this point hosting further than this, because I now have thirteen things existing in my real life and I cannot have this fourteenth. Saying that, I am here, and I shall do my best to deliver. However, that means notes are minimal and I am sorry if they are unhelpful. Y'all are so talented and I'm happy to have each in these Games.

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District 1 Male...Chet Jackson...

NOTES: I mean, what can I say? That was certainly something, in a good way but also in a wtf way. I would've liked to see a bit more Chet rather than the elaborate ramblings re: Eitan. Also, damn to that image about Venus. This was very good but I was also a bit confused about the letter's purpose.

District 2 Female...Eloise Edith Kovach...

NOTES: You always write so wonderfully, this was no exception. I did find the tone felt a bit jarred and staunched which detracted a bit, as did the out-of-character (in my opinion) interaction between the boy and Eloise. There was a bit too much tsking and sighing and while I liked that she looked across at the others leaving her behind, it felt a bit blanch.

District 2 Male...Eitan Mizrahi...

NOTES: Very good, loved the emotional range of the entry. Would've liked to see a bit more oomph too but I know circumstances prevented that. I also don't know who the 'you' is being addressed to in the beginning? I would assume the father but then you change the next paragraph so idk.

District 3 Female...Packard Bevin...

NOTES: Man, that ending was so good. Overall this was a really good entry. Loved the bit between the emotions and the logic conflicting. Solid entry.

District 4 Female...Nerida Cresswell...

NOTES: This was a great entry. It really flowed well and you've really gotten into it with a nice balance of emotion, drama, and action. It read very quickly which was good but it also made me feel like there was some other part that was missing. I loved the net metaphor.

District 4 Male...Benthic Derval...

NOTES: Your imagery and metaphor is so damn good that I really just can't even deal with it. Your grasp of the characters and their intentions and meaning you is really great. I liked this entry, but also I felt like while I liked the metaphors and you do them well, it was also...a lot of them, some of which felt forced or confusing or out of place. Would like to see the flowery imagery and metaphor more tactfully used and have a purpose (ie. the mother metaphors) rather than a lot of this which felt more forced and out of place.

District 7 Female...Elowen Ilana...

NOTES: //

District 8 Male...Tucker Steppe...

NOTES: Wow. I'm blown away but then that statement feels like it hits a bit too close to home. This was a phenomenal entry. I'm not normally a fan of flashbacks punctuated by italics or by breaks in thought but this worked really well and was really just exceptional.

District 9 Male...Blair Setaria...

NOTES: A lovely entry, I really like how easily this reads. The twist with Elowen dying was interesting, as was the flashbacks. You do well making your entries read very naturally, and this was generally just a great entry to read.

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So, with no further ado, the byes have been given to: Packard Bevin, Nerida Cresswell, Tucker Steppe, and Blair Setaria.

That means the other five are up for votes. Send along the names of TWO tributes you wish to see survive. Three will perish. Vote by tomorrow, September 1, at 8pm Atlantic Time. I'll try to have the task up but I am unsure how tomorrow's move-in day leading-orientation-week stuff will go. Love y'all.