The Fifth Annual Writer Games: The Fall

The Fall of Man - Packard Bevin

If I close my eyes, who's to say I'm not back there?

There's nothing to tell me I'm wrong. The cool morning air is uncomfortably familiar against my face, and the normally quiet crunch of a thin layer of snow under my feet is almost deafening. For all intents and purposes I'm still in the arena, and it doesn't take long for me to begin to feel sick. My heart races, my head spins, and my knees feel week, but I can't move. I'm frozen in place, forced to feel like I'm dying every time I stare into the black void behind my eyes.

Yet, when I open them again I'm not surrounded by beautiful mountains and tall conifers. This time I'm walking through the gate of the Victor's Village, into a neighbourhood full of empty houses. Each one is identical to the others on either side, as a sort of exuberant way to brag about my newfound status. This gratuitous difference in wealth is further heightened by the view of the run down apartment buildings just beyond the neat brick walls bordering the secluded community. For the longest time I called one of those cramped communities home, and I would look down at the very path I now stand upon and wish to live there.

The apartments may have been cramped, but at least they had people. Every house here in the village is empty excluding one, which still has a light on in the living room at five o'clock in the morning. Of course he's still awake.
It's not at all surprising that Hewie makes it to the door before I do. His black hair is a complete mess and he's struggling to keep his eyes open, but he doesn't say anything at all. We simply look at each other for a few seconds before I make my way up the stairs, and he simply moves out of the way and closes the door behind me.

The quiet is only interrupted at first by the sound of my brother closing the door behind me. Once it's shut we don't make eye contact; I simply take off my cashmere sweater and hang it up in the closet. It's only once I take my first few steps up the stairs towards my bedroom that Hewie finally breaks the silence, his voice fatigued and gravelly from an obvious lack of sleep.

"Keddy, how much longer is this going to last?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." My tone is a little sharper then I expected it to be, and while I can't see the look on Hewie's face with my back turned I can imagine he's taken aback by it. My stomach begins to feel tight with guilt and I want to run towards him and apologize, but he keeps talking before I can even completely turn around.

"Not sleeping. Staying out all night. Skipping meals. You know exactly what I mean," Hewie's voice has shifted away from its previous tired and annoyed tone to something more resembling concern, but it's still heavily masked by the air of fatigue he's struggling to suppress. "We're worried about you Ked.

"You have nothing to worry about. I wasn't doing anything wrong." I say, this time careful as I pronounce every word. The last thing I want to do is hurt Hewlett, especially by just being careless. However, the look on his face tells me that the damage has already been done, and potentially not even by my own words. "I was bringing some food and supplies to some of the less fortunate communities in town, you know? I'm just trying to help, and if I do it during the day everyone will just think it's a Capitol arranged publicity stunt."

"That's food that you should be eating Packard!" Hewie doesn't usually get frustrated, but with a combination of the situation and the lack of sleep I can see his emotions getting the better of him. With every word he's becoming closer and closer to flying off the handle, and while this is usually when I would tell him to go to bed this time I keep my mouth shut. "I get it, you feel guilty and you want to help people to try and make up for whatever happened in the arena, but you don't need to kill yourself to do that. You leave on the goddamn victory tour tomorrow, and you need to be in decent shape. When are you going to realize that you're lucky to have made it home in one piece?"