sleeping with the enemy - jachary

1.9

time. that word was something jack was growing to dread. he respected the fact zach wanted to take things slow but jack was growing impatient. he felt almost as if zach was going to change his mind and go back to hating him. it had been more than two months since they started whatever the fuck they were doing. jack feared he was just another fuck to zach, considering the younger male's reputation to sleeping around he feared this relationship (or whatever the fuck they were calling it) was just a joke to zach, something he would laugh about in the future.

jack was still tutoring zach with the added bonus of making out with him after each session. jack wanted something more than just secret makeout sessions with zach. he wanted to be his boyfriend. but considering zach being very instant he wasn't ready to label the thing they were doing. jonah on the other hand knew what was going on between the two was more than just a secret. ever since jack had come out to jonah jack found himself confiding in his friend with all the secrets he kept from him. jonah and daniel both were rooting for zach and jack.

sitting in study hall jack absently stares out of the window, the snow that had previously laid on the ground now was melted replaced by the green grass that was starting to peak out. spring. ah. prom season. jack wanted to ask zach with a big gesture, maybe a huge poster with all the reasons he should go with him or maybe he could sing him a song. jack scoffs at that idea knowing damn well zach would turn him down. jack wasn't ready to taste that kind of rejection mixed with the embarrassment of practically outing himself and zach to his peers.

jack moves his eyes back to his chemistry note book, he scribbles down a random answer not really in the mood to use his brain to think of school work. his thoughts were consumed of zach and the doubt that would occasionally fill the silence.

a cramp from writing down the answers to his homework made jack place his pen down on the table running a hand through his messy curls. focusing on school work was harder than it was before. all that consumed his mind was worry and doubt. he hated feeling like this. more specifically he hated how one person was able to make him feel like this.

jack puts in his airpods, scrolling through his phone to find a random song to put on to drown out his current thoughts. bags by clario softly play into his ears.

can you see me? i'm waiting for the right time
i can't read you but, if you want, the pleasure's all mine.

jack quickly changes the song, the lyrics not at all helpful at pushing away the feelings he was trying to not feel at the moment.

what if i am just another achievement to zach? what if he doesn't feel the way i do and he's just using me? all of these what if's cloud jack's thoughts making the air in the small space grow thicker. wondering about the what if's always made jack's chest tight, it made him fill over the brim with more worry than he previously allowed himself to feel. it was the type of worry that always seemed to knock the air from his lungs and make his eyes begin to water. those what if's are what scared him the most.

jack counts to 20 trying to control his breathing and stop himself from having a panic attack. he felt stupid feeling this much anxiety towards one person. it felt wrong for him to feel this way. but jonah or daniel would reassure him what he was feeling was valid considering zach's reputation and the fact this was the first time jack was in a relationship (or whatever this stupid thing was called). it was scary and jack wanted that feeling to go away.

a soft voice brings jack back to the present. he looks up to see christina looking down at him, her eyes filled with worry as she softly spoke to jack.

he hums a response looking directly at christina who took a seat in front of jack.

"you okay?" she questions keeping her voice down, the librarian having an eye on the pair. jack nods clenching his jaw tightly to avoid telling christina the truth. "you sure?" she softly asks reaching across the table to softly touch jack's arm.

jack quickly pulls away. "i'm fine! leave it alone!" he snaps gaining the attention of not only the people around him but the librarian who sends him a disapproving glance.

"keep it down." she warns.

christina didn't seem fazed by jack snapping at her. instead she was more worried. the pair hadn't had that many conversations with one another but christina could tell something was bothering jack and that something might have been a certain person.

"if you want to talk i'm here." she sends him a soft smile before standing up and walking away.

jack wanted to tell christina all his darkest worries and secrets but he didn't know her like that. he didn't know if she would betray him.

he didn't even know if zach was going to betray him.

______

long time no see. huh? in the long time i haven't updated this fic i changed fandoms twice well technically i was in both previously but i found the phandom and the vampettes again (ew i cringed) recently i've been binge watching dan and phil (previously i was a demon phannie )(IT HITS DIFFERENT) i still stan wdw don't worry i just tend to get bored a lot and find new people to stan once a month lolz.

sorry this update was short i promise (if i ever update again) it will be lengthy.