The Love I Never Gave-Maylor

Scars

Thought after thought crossed my mind. There was no stopping it, it had a consistent flow to it and wouldn't stop. One after another. Eyes both irritated and burnt from staying up for so long, the other reason being from crying. 

All I wanted to do was rest, sleep off into my dreams, away from this reality. Out of the corner of my eye, through the windows, shone a bright sun, rising up in a purple mix of pink, gold and dark with darkness where night still remained in the sky. Shining right into my eyes, I grimaced and turned away, squinting from such impact from so much light. Thoughts sputtered and then stopped. Nothing remained. Only me and a blank mind. Eyes closed more and more as sleepiness grew onto me, going into deep sleep.

Morning

As soon as I woke up for the day, a surge of throbbing pain brought me back down and into the reality that I was in. Why did I have to wake up? 

Sleep was one of the ways, if not the only way that I could forget about life and just sleep through it, no one could hurt me as long as I was asleep. Well, like they always say. "Good things in life don't last long." Brian wasn't here. His spot on the bed, empty. Good. I should hurry up before he came back and did his usual thing with me, yell, beat, repeat. To the best of my ability, I tried standing, wincing at the pounding back pain and muscle aches all over me, but still went on. This wasn't anything compared to what Brian was capable of. I took my shirt off, at the same time not, being careful with all the sore spots. 

Pants fell to the ground with a small thud. I walked over to Brian's closet before being stopped at a horrifying image. Me. Large purple with mixes of green, blue and black bruises spotted my entire body. Whip marks, red and swollen, plastered onto my back as I turned around in the mirror. Mouth shot upen and eyes widened as far as they could go. There they were, the most terrifying mark of all, fingerprints. Brian's fingerprints. Brown and purple, pressed onto my shoulders, wrists, everywhere I looked they were there. I threw my arms in front of my torso as tears formed in my eyes, ready to fall. I cowered inwards, loath consuming me. How could I have let this happen to me? All my fault. It's always my fault!

"Roger, you awake!?"

Shit!

I threw open Brian's closet door and put on the first thing to come into sight. No long sleeves though, I had to keep looking. Shirtless, I searched through his closet, desperate to find a long sleeved shirt. Once I found one that was bound to cover as much as I wanted, I put it on and extended the sleeves to as far as they could go. Good thing it wasn't summer around here in England, so that should cover my reason for wearing this and I couldn't let anyone see me like this, especially John and Freddie. If I ever slipped up and they laid eyes directly at my marks, they'd know something was up and trace it back to Brian, confront him at the least, which would result in another beating. Even I couldn't see them, I couldn't bear to.