Angel waiting to go home .

Money

Even though this spot is just filled with so many memories , It's not that easy to leave it and I know I shouldn't be clinging unto the past like this . I remember how she didn't like anyone calling her Thandile because she said only her late mother would call her that , and she didn't want anyone to taint her mothers name for her , I always wondered what that meant . " Thandile " I say out loud , it even sounds weird coming from my mouth . 

I miss the times I would always escape to her house to get away from my Parents , sometimes I just wish they understood my pain that's all , they really aren't bad people I just feel like I don't belong there , I feel like an outcast, I feel misunderstood, the problem is with me and I know it . 

With this realisation my eyes sheer tears , if Only my tears had some joy in them , if only they were tears I always shed when I was with her , tears of laughter they were . Her arms were my safe Haven , it reminds me of the day I ran from home the whole day to get away from my Family, the pain I felt that day is still so vivid .

...

Flashback 

" Where are you going ? " My mother asked as I exited the bathroom after my bath . 

" I'm going to visit Dile at her house . " i replied while entering my room , I take off my towel and place it on my bed and thereafter sat on top of it . My mother follows me in my room and closing the door behind her , " Who's going to wash the dishes then ? " she asked .

"  Karabo can wash them , I washed them last night so they are his dishes today ." I say with my attention focused on the movement of my hands caressing my body with Lotion. 

" He's washing your father's car . " my mother says , with her voice sounding a little exasperated. 

" Well he can wash them when he is done. "  I say as I stand up from my towel to apply lotion on my lower body . 

" Wash those dishes before you leave ! " my mother snaps before exiting my room and banging the door behind her . 

No way I am washing those dishes again , we are supposed to take turns and this is certainly very unfair on me , even when i have to do my other chores I still make time to wash the dishes.  I'm just going to finish preparing then I'm heading to my best friends house , my mother can really be unreasonable at times . I battle internally with my mothers unfairness towards me as I prepare , I choose a simple denim jean , a white shirt and a jacket on top because it is the middle of Winter . 

I really just want to leave and ignore her but I am really scared because she gives the greatest Ass whooping . I just feel like she's being like this just because I'm a " Girl " and it's my job to do all these things . 

I get dressed and go to the bathroom to start doing my hair , I decide to style my hair in a simple low ponytail . I moisturize my hair and start combing it , I use chemicals on my hair so it's always straight. 

" Go wash those dishes ! " Karabo snaps and I jump up in shock because I didn't see him behind me , Karabo is three years older than me but likes acting like my Dad .

" No they are yours , I washed them yesterday . " I answer in annoyance and continue to comb my hair . 

" I'm washing the car ! " he shouts . 

" And I cleaned the house ! " I turn around and snap at him . 

" Wash those dishes ! " He shouts at me even louder and this time I ignore him 

" Now Promise !! " I still keep quiet . 

He moves closer to me , I can see him from across the mirror and he stands right behind me . He quickly grabs my hair before my brain can even process the action and he slams my head against the door . My ears immediately go blank and all I can hear is vibrations ,and as I am about to recover he slams me again and again tightening his grip around my hair , he turns me around and let's go of my hair and places a slap on my one cheek . " Ma ! " I scream for my mother to help me " Ma ! Please help me ! " as I cry uncontrollably, he slaps me again on my other cheek and it hurts more than the last one , I immediately push him away and he hits the basin with his back , I quickly run into the Kitchen where I find my mother chopping some vegetables as if she didn't hear me screaming . " Ma ! Help me !" I scream with tears running down my face , and she just looks at me with no life in her eyes and continues to chop vegetables , my brother enters the Kitchen slaps me repeatedly . " Ma !!! " I scream crying with great pain and she still ignores me just focusing on her chopping .