Angel waiting to go home .

Chapter 19

The Old Monk shaves the sky and I'm surprised I managed to get decent sleep , I do my everyday morning routine , I take a shower, brush my teeth, and eat my breakfast well Atleast part of it , the food here makes me nauseous . Nurse Faith enters my ward with her casual clothes and I assume that today is her day off , she smiles from the moment she lays her eyes on me and kisses my forehead before taking a seat aside my bed . 

" Finish your breakfast . " she says as she notices the half full food on my plate . 

" I just need some water and I'll be fine , the food here is not so great . " I say and she quickly stands up to get me some water , I drink it down but I just feel like it made my stomach worse .

" I hope that's better " she says , Oh no it is not , at all .

" Your mother might not come today , I believe she is too tired . " she adds on 

" It's okay , I understand , I have been straining her alot since I got here . Actually when am I being discarded? " 

" You were supposed to be discharged in a few days , But after the stunt you pulled that night , the Doctors still believe that you might be of harm yourself . "  Nurse Faith says.  

" Oh " I remark, obviously still ashamed about that night . 

" It's alright, it will pass . " she says as she notices my expression and tries to smile to make me feel better . I just look down and try to withhold my tears at the memory of that night . 

" Come on , don't cry baby ." She says and my eyes begin to water .

" Tell me about Lucky " she tries to change the Topic . 

" How do you know about Lucky ? " knowing for a fact that she was eavesdropping on me and my mother . 

" I heard you mention his name alot when you talk to your mother . " Shock! 

" There is alot to tell about him . " 

" Do tell anything about him . " 

I'll just continue what I was telling my mother yesterday .

...

Afterbreak the day went very quickly, I went home straight Afterschool to just rest after the extremely long and tiring day I had . I change out of my uniform , undo my hair and wear comfortable clothing . I fall asleep immediately after placing my head on my bed . 

I wake up and the emptiness takes over , my heart is as if it has been dug a hole into , I try  crying to ease the pain and it doesn't work because I don't know why I am feeling this way , I feel so hallow and with every beat of my heart , I can hear the echo of it's pain . To be honest all I want is this pain to end , I want to wake up Happy and end this foreign feeling that has taken refuge in my heart . I want to fill this void with whatever that is missing .

I take my phone to check the time and it's 18:00 , it's a little dark outside , I lay in my bed for a few minutes just replying to some texts on WhatsApp , I haven't been very social since Dile passed on . I still have the last message she sent me telling me how sorry she is for sending Lucky a text with my phone and she added a few laughing emojis to express her humour about the whole situation . I want to send her a message and tell her how much I need her , and how things are going between me and Lucky , I want to tell her that I miss her everyday but I can't... Tears roll down my face with this realisation and this time I choose not to wipe them away , I tell myself that may these be last tears I shed for her because I am tired of crying every single day wishing that she had choose to live. I exit our chats to check the message I had just received.