Angel waiting to go home .

Roots from my mothers womb shoot

( For this Chapter please listen to Either way by Sishii , to get a deeper understanding of where my heart was while writing this . )

My tears can't stop flowing and the room is filled with the sound of my nose sniffling . My whole body feels numb , I feel as if I've sunk into the table , I stand up from my seat and my whole World is spinning . My ears have lost their ability to even hear , I pick up my bag and I look at Lucky , he has his head bowed down , the sight of him seems much more further . I look away with a well of tears and I can't feel myself, I can't feel anything on my body .

" Promise ? " I hear something call my name, it sounds more like a whisper . I ignore that person and walk out of the office . I'm dead inside , I feel nothing , there is nothing to live for . The passage that leads to the exit out Offices seems much much more longer , Dile's Father and the officers stand at the exit, I walk with my head faced down , my body starts heating up tremendously, and the tears just flow down my face. I walk out the office area and I can feel their eyes on me , I take a few steps and stop in the middle of the facade and turn to look at them , they stare at me with plain eyes and I cry even more then walk away . I walk towards the bathrooms , my whole World is moving slowly and I feel numb , I feel sick , I feel alone , I disgust myself , I was filled with so much regret and remorse .

All that washed away when Lucky stops me in my tracks and hugs me tightly , I slide my hands in his Blazer to hold his waist and it gives me so much comfort , all the doubt is washed away and I feel safe , knowing someone is there for me , knowing I'm not all alone , I cried so much that my eyes burnt and pillows formed beneath my eyes to capture all the sadness . Lucky will always be here for me , we will be Together Forever just like Dile and I had promised one another .

... Back at the Hospital ...

Nurse Faith is in tears , I'm also in tears , reliving that moment really weighed heavily on my heart . When I look back at how I was with Lucky , sadness and anger blind my eyes but Happiness clears that foggy view . I cry out loudly and wrap my arms around my knees , I haven't cried like this in years and It feels really good to let out all the emotions. Remembering all the times I felt alone and felt unheard , when nobody acknowledged the pain I was going through was still a very fresh wound , the pain I felt still haunts me , threatening to creep back into my life . I cry out some more and my stomach is just pressing in , I can even taste blood on my tongue , my pain is pressed by my heart and expressed by my eyes .

" Prom..Promise , I... I " Nurse Faith stutters and cries out again , I even feel as if it's not even about me and Lucky anymore . I hand her a glass of water and she refuses it , she drinks water from her Water bottle and calms down .

" I'm sorry for ... for crying out like that " she says

" It's okay , I understand " I say and smile faintly.

" There is still so much more you need to know Nurse , just give me a chance to give the full story . " I add on

" Yes , you may but I don't think you can convince me that Lucky is nothing but a liar and you betrayed your friend because of an obsession with a painkiller. " Yoh ! My eyes were wide open with shock after her statement

" Yoh okay " I say in defeated

" I don't see a point of explaining any further because you've already made up your mind . " I add on

" Promise , you need to stop playing the victim all the time , that role is tired on you . The truth is you did betray your friend regardless of the circumstances , you betrayed her because you couldn't make yourself happy , and you still can't. Wherever you go , you seek other people's happiness to disguise your sadness , sadness is an emotion just like happiness , you choose to be happy and you choose to be sad by letting everything life throws at you get you down . Promise , you create your own happiness "