Not So Fine | Yoonmin

Chapter 12

Jimin POV

The words slip out of my mouth before I even realize it, not entirely sure if I want to take back what I've just said or not. I know it's wrong. I know what I'm doing right now is so fucking wrong because technically I'm still dating Taemin and he doesn't deserve to have someone going behind his back like this, but at the same time I fear that if I walk out of here without trying to at least set us on the right path, that I might really lose Yoongi forever. I truthfully don't know that I could handle that.

Looking at the elder boy sat before me though, I've never seen a more solemn and upset gaze and expression than the one he wears now. It's scary to be able to see the conflict in his eyes, to see that he's battling with himself over my simple question, but it makes me feel terrible at the same time.

I know this is my fault. It's all my fault. I pushed him away when in reality I needed him closer. I refused to listen to him and drove the man I love most away. I never gave him the chance to explain his side of the story, to realize that he really wasn't the one posting my personal pictures and videos. I sat by idly when everything blew up around him, sat and watched as he lost his career, his reputation, his credibility. I sat and did nothing while his entire world collapsed around him because I was too damn childish to go back to him to take it out until now.

"Jiminie, I don't think that's a good idea." Yoongi whispers, his voice hoarse as a fresh wave of tears begins rolling down his rosy cheeks.

All of it is too much, shattering my heart in more ways than one.

"Hyung, please. I believe you, and I'm sorry I didn't come to you sooner to get this sorted out. I'm sorry for ending us in the worst ways possible. I don't want anyone else though, Yoongi, I only want you. You're all that matters to me." I cry out softly, more tears falling down my own cheeks now.

The look in his eyes breaks my heart even more. He looks so fucking sad but almost numb at the same point. He almost seems to be at a loss for what to do, scaring me even more.

"Jiminie-Jiminie, you have to believe me and understand. I love you. I love you so fucking much, but that's exactly why we can't. Why I can't. We can't be what we used to be, it's too complicated now." Yoongi counters, voice cracking as he speaks. His voice is so shaky and he looks so small at the moment and it only worries me more.

"Yoongi, please! It doesn't have to be complicated! I'll do anything, hyung! I love you and only you, I don't want anyone else and I never will! We can make this work, we just have to work together. I promise, I'll trust you and always go to you first whenever anything happens, especially things like this. Please, Yoongi. Please, just give me a chance." I argue, shouting a bit as I grow more and more desperate not to lose the elder in front of me.

"I love you too, Jiminie, but you need to go." Yoongi chokes out quietly, shattering my heart into a million pieces.

"Is this how I made you feel? Is this payback, Yoongi? Please, I know I deserve it but I want to fix this! I don't want to lose you!" I cry out, beginning to lose it a bit.

Despite the tears overwhelming his cheeks, he takes a shaky breath before a small trembling smile appears on his soft lips. Soft lips that I've not been able to kiss for seven months now.

He doesn't say or do anything more, seemingly giving up the fight and argument altogether.

It kills me, watching him stay so silent right now after everything.

Though, before I can even process the thought running through my head, I'm up on my feet and walking the short distance to where he's still sat crying silently in his desk chair. Without a single thought more, I reach my hands up to cup his cheeks gently while leaning down and pressing my lips to his soft ones.

It brings memories crashing back through my head, the calming and comforting and perfect feeling of his lips on mine as they dance together in the softest of ways. His lips are trembling though, and I can feel the sudden wave of extra tears hitting my fingers as I continue holding him. It makes the pain in my chest grow even more to know he's crying harder now, but I can't find it in myself to pull away just yet. Not now after having missed this so fucking much for seven months, now that I finally have him here so close.

It's only when I'm more than out of breath that we pull away.

Though, what I'm certainly not expecting is to find him looking more heartbroken than before I'd kissed him.