Not So Fine | Yoonmin

Chapter 13

Yoongi POV

"Jiminie, please. I love you so fucking much, more than words could ever explain. We can't do this anymore though. We can't be together anymore, and it shouldn't matter either because you have a boyfriend now, if you've forgotten." I choke out, my voice cracking more times than I care to count.

I didn't want to have to pull the boyfriend card on him, but he does. They came out with it nearly two weeks ago now. Taemin, that rotten bastard, he announced it on every platform he could that Jimin was taken again and that he was the lucky man. It crushed me so bad that day, seeing his posts everywhere and seeing people talking about it.

Sitting here, all I can do is watch broken-heartedly as tears form in seconds before slipping down his soft cheeks.

"You really don't love me anymore, do you?" He mumbles weakly, pain evident in his voice. It destroys the remains of my heart, wishing I could be six feet under already.

"Jiminie, I will always love you. You're not mine anymore though and it's not-"

"Then let me be yours again damn it! Yoongi, I don't fucking want Taemin! I never did! It's always been you and it always will be! Please, I can call him and end things with him right now if it means that I get to have you back!" Jimin shouts, effectively cutting me off.

"Please, just go. I love you more than anything else in my life, Jiminie, but we can't do this." I whisper, squeezing my eyes shut tightly. The room falls silent for a minute, but I don't dare to open my eyes yet.

"You're a coward, Min Yoongi. I can't believe I still love you after everything." Jimin growls before I hear footsteps and then the door slamming shut just seconds later.

Opening my eyes, I stare at the shut door to my studio, feeling worse than I ever have before.

Grabbing my phone, I send Joon a text before grabbing my bottle of soju and downing the remaining quarter of it. It's not long before the other boy shows, concern clear on his face.

"What the hell happened? I've been gone for maybe twenty minutes, why do you look like someone literally carved your heart out of your body?" Namjoon asks worriedly as he kneels down in front of me.

I feel flooded with so much pain but so much numbness all at once, I can hardly explain how I'm even still breathing at the moment.

"Jiminie came by. He wanted to hear my side of the story to what happened. I told him and he believed me." I murmur, my voice rough from all of my crying. Joon frowns though, glancing between both my eyes in attempt to figure out something.

"I don't get it. That should be good, right?" He questions carefully.

"He kissed me, Joon. He wanted to get back together. Even offered to call Taemin up on the spot to end things with him so that he could be with me." I whisper, feeling emptier inside than I ever have yet.

The younger's eyes widen at this, seemingly beginning to understand just how exactly the conversation had gone.

"You told him no?" Namjoon asks, mild confusion and sadness in his voice.

My lips push out into a pout as I tip my head back in attempt not to cry harder than what I already am.

It hurts. It hurts being this way. I don't want things to be like this. I don't want to have to push the one person I love most out of my life. I don't want to have to be alone. I don't want to live like this. I did the damage though, and it certainly seems that I'm paying the price for it.

"I can't hurt him like that, Joon. I'm not going to be around for more than a couple more years. I don't want to give him a promise of forever, when I can't even give him three more years. When I can't guarantee even one full year. I-I've seen what that kind of damage does to people first hand. Damn it, I've felt the damage it does, the pain it leaves behind. I can't knowingly and willingly put him through that. He deserves so much fucking better than that, and I can't give him it. I can't give him what he deserves, so I shouldn't be able to call him mine again." I explain, beginning to cry harder again.

"Yoongi, don't you think maybe that should be Jimin's decision? Shouldn't Jimin get to decide if he wants to spend the rest of your life with you or not?" Joon asks gently, placing a hand on my knee. I scoff at the question, rolling my eyes.

"No. Right now, Jiminie would choose me, and I don't deserve that of him. Besides, it'll keep him from finding the right person for a longer time than what's necessary. I gave him the ring anyways. Though, I guess he didn't really want it considering it's still sat on the couch. Just goes to show where I really lie in his life."