Not So Fine | Yoonmin

Chapter 5

Yoongi POV

Sitting down in the plush desk chair of my new studio, I can't help but look numbly around the room. It's been seven months now since I've touched anything related to this industry, and I'm scared for what's to come now that I've reentered it.

Hearing a knock on the door from behind me, I turn in the chair to look back in the direction of the sound. I watch as Namjoon opens the door with a small smile, only stepping a couple feet into the room.

"How do you like it, hyung? As nice as you imagined it to be?" Joon asks lightly, glancing around the room before returning his gaze to me. I bite my lip as I look around the room myself again, nodding lightly.

"Yeah, it's nice." I murmur quietly.

And it is. It's a really fucking nice studio, one that most people probably wouldn't be able to afford. One I wouldn't have been able to afford if Joon hadn't done the entire thing up himself and surprised me with.

The desk is made out of dark mahogany, warming the work area in color. It's a large desk, four computer monitors hooked up and spread the length of the desk with my laptop placed on a connector and a keyboard in front of the center two monitors. It's black carpeting that covers the floor, soft to walk on with socks and no shoes. There's a large brown couch on the opposite side of the room from my desk that spans two thirds of the wall length. There's a small oak coffee table in front of the couch, a side table on either side of it as well. There's even a mini fridge off on the side of the room opposite the door. The walls are an ash gray color, soft lighting brightening the room.

It's a beautiful studio, better than the one that I'd had back at BigHit. I can't help but feel the emptiness sinking into the place though.

I'd spent most of my time when in my studio, with Jimin...

"You do know that there's no way I'll be able to write anything that isn't about Jimin. Right? I won't be able to produce a single bright track." I ask quietly, looking up at the younger. He wears a solemn expression at my words.

"Yoongi, if what you said that night was true, then you only have a limited time left. I know you write what you feel and think. Say all the things that you never got to, all the things that you've wanted to say, all the things that need to be said. This is your career, the last of your life. I want you to produce the music that you're going to feel comfortable with. Make songs that you want to make without worrying what the world has to say. You might've been making music to make as much money as possible and to thrill the fans and to break records and whatever shit before, but you're not anymore. It's not about breaking records or keeping up with anyone or anything. This is about making music that you want to make. Saying the things that you need and want to say, that you couldn't say before. This is about being yourself in your music unconditionally. This is about being who you want to be. I don't care what it's about, as long as you're comfortable with it and happy with it. That's all that matters to me." Namjoon responds in a serious tone.

I give the younger a small smile, wanting so hard to fight back the tears but not having the energy to as I reach instead for the bottle of soju on my desk. Taking a couple small swigs from the bottle, I set it back down before curling up in the chair a bit.

"I've never said it enough, Joon, but thank you. Thank you for not giving up on me and believing in me despite all the shit that's happened. I'm sorry for doing this to you." I whisper as I stare at the black carpeting, feeling a couple tears beginning to slip down my cheeks.

"I could never give up on you or leave you, hyung. It's all gonna be okay and work out in the end. Just focus on the time that you have now, yeah? I'll be with you every step of the way. I promise." Joon murmurs softly, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder.

I take a deep breath at his words, knowing the heavy truth behind it as I make a reach for the bottle of soju again.

It may not be the best solution to my problems, but what's it really going to do? It can't hurt me anymore than the damage I've already done. It can't hurt me any more than what Jimin had done...