Not So Fine | Yoonmin

Chapter 20

Jimin POV

I feel the elder stiffen in my hold, and I can feel my heart sinking deeply in my chest. I can only hope that he'll finally let us be together, hope that he won't be upset with me for having found out.

"How-How do you know about that?" Yoongi whispers hoarsely, his body seemingly giving up on him as it all relaxes once more.

"Yoongi, does it really matter? I want to be with you, not anyone else. I don't care if maybe I don't get as much time with you as I maybe could with anyone else, they'll never be you." I argue gently, still rubbing his back lightly in hopes of easing him up a bit. Though, my heart breaks all over again when I feel a new wave of tears hitting him, feeling him starting to soak my shirt once more.

"I can't do that, Jiminie. God, I want to, but I can't. I can't leave you like that, Jiminie. I can't just let you stay when I'm not going to last much longer. I love you, Jiminie. I can't do that to you. I can't hurt you like that. I don't want to be selfish that way." Yoongi sobs out in a shaky voice. I frown at this though, wishing he wouldn't be so hard on himself.

"Baby, are you taking chemo?" I ask softly, trying to see if I can find a way to reason with him. He huffs at the question, shaking his head against me.

"No, I know what that shit does to a person just as I do with what I have. I have no reason to take it." Yoongi mutters bitterly against me. I frown again though, hating how determined and stubborn he's being.

"Yoongi, that stuff keeps you alive longer and is meant to help fight off the cancer. It could save you from having to let this be your end. Wouldn't you want that?" I suggest gently, hoping not to get such a sour response this time. He grumbles what's most likely a bunch of profanities against my chest at this, making me smile just a bit.

"It didn't work for my mother. Why the hell would it work for me?" Yoongi huffs in a weak voice, surprisingly sounding somewhat defeated already.

"Baby, there's always a chance. You don't know if it's gonna work for you or not, but there's still the possibility that it might. Wouldn't you want to take that chance? Yoongi, if nothing else, it lets you live longer than you would without it. It gives you and I more time to be together, along with the possibility of letting us be together far beyond what you think you'll only make it to now. Wouldn't you wanna take that chance? Wouldn't you want to at least give it a try for us?" I urge softly, rubbing his back gently as I try desperately to convince him. I catch him whimper softly at my words this time, and I'm fairly sure I'm beginning to get him to break.

"What if it doesn't work though? I-I don't wanna put you through the pain of being with me only so that you lose me for good just a few years down the line." Yoongi worries quietly, burrowing his head further into my chest.

"Baby, I would always take that risk with you over having to be with anyone else. We both know the risks that we're taking if you'll let us be together again. I'm more than willing to go through that as long as it's with you. You're all that matters to me, Yoongi. I promise you that I would do everything I can to help you get through this and I'll always be here to support you, baby. I know there's no guarantee of a forever anymore, but I'd still take my potentially limited time with you any day." I murmur softly, leaning my head down to kiss the top of his.

He pulls his head away from my chest at this, looking up at me with wide eyes and tear stained cheeks with his sweet lips pouted. There's tears in his eyes as he looks up at me, but I can see the mental war he's having with himself over this.

"I don't wanna hurt you." Yoongi whispers in a shaky voice. I give him a small smile though, moving my hand to cup his cheek gently.

"Baby, you could never hurt me." I counter lightly before leaning down and pecking his lips. He only pouts more when I pull away though, and I take that as a good sign.

"Will you give me a chance, Yoongi? Will you let us be together again?" I ask quietly, wanting to get an actual answer out of him. He pouts even further at this if possible, nodding his head this time.