Not So Fine | Yoonmin

Chapter 3

Yoongi POV

"Yoongi, you have to quit this. I know it's hard, baby, but you've got to stop. You've got to get over him." Jin murmurs softly as he runs his fingers through my hair while I sit on my knees in front of the toilet. I've got tears running down my cheeks as I stay hunched over the toilet.

"Fuck off." I choke out before spilling more of the remains from my stomach.

"Yoongi, please. I'll call Namjoon if I have to, but this is getting out of hand. You're throwing up every single night. You're drinking literally all the time anymore. I know you miss Jimin and I know what he did to you wasn't fair in the slightest, but at some point you have to move on with your life. You have to get over the assholes." Jin hyung says with a sigh, hand still on my back.

"Then kick me out and call Joon. I don't give a fuck anymore. You wouldn't understand." I breathe out as I push myself away from the toilet and flush it.

Jin sighs at me, shaking his head as he exits the bathroom. I sigh, dragging myself to my feet before stumbling out of the bathroom. Making my way to the spare bedroom that Jin has been letting me stay in, I collapse to the bed before breaking down crying again.

I don't notice when the bedroom door gets pushed open a little further than what I'd left it, not noticing when Joon enters the room and closes the door behind him. It's only once he's sat down in front of me on the bed, rubbing my side gently that I realize he's here.

"Hyung, you've gotta stop ruining yourself for someone who doesn't deserve you. I know how hard this has to be for you, but you can't keep doing this. I don't want to watch you drink yourself into an early grave." Namjoon says softly, still rubbing my side gently. I scoff weakly at this, shrugging.

"Yeah, well, it's a little late for that one." I mutter quietly through the tears, calming down as I stare at the wall across from me.

The room falls silent at my words, but I'm not too surprised. I can't blame him for probably not knowing what to say to something like this. It's my fault anyways.

"I just... I don't understand, Joonie. Would it have made a difference if I had been there that night? If I would've canceled that show for him and actually been there myself? Should I have posted immediately after it in response to tell them it was all bullshit? That I love him and that I would never do anything to hurt him? Was there something more? Should I have flown back anyways and have tried to explain it to him face to face? Would any of my efforts ever have been worth it?" I whisper hoarsely, tears still rolling down my cheeks.

"You've really done yourself in for him. Huh, hyung?" Namjoon murmurs faintly, still looking down at me.

"I guess in the long run, it's probably for the best. I won't have to stick around and suffer for years on end, watching him fall in love with someone else and probably marrying them. And it works out for him. He... He won't have to watch someone he loves dying from cancer the way I did. It just proves it was never really meant to be, huh?" I sigh, letting my eyes fall closed near the end of speaking.

"I dunno, hyung. I don't know what the hell happened with him. It doesn't mean that you deserve to go through all of this though. You-you're only twenty two, hyung. You should be happy and out there living your life. Not suffering and torturing yourself with the idea of a person who doesn't deserve you anymore." Joon responds solemnly.

I swallow around the lump in my throat.

"I had a ring for him. I wasn't just going to surprise him by coming home early that night, Joon. I-I was going to propose." I barely manage to whisper. His hand on my side stops moving at this, but I try not to think much of it. I know I'm dumping a ton of heavy information on him right now, but I've been keeping it all bottled up inside for six months now and it's hard to handle keeping it together.

"Why don't we start our own label, hmm? I-I don't know how much time you've got left, but you've always loved making music. Why don't we create our own label so that you can get back to work on making music, doing your own stuff for the rest of the time you've got left? I know it'll be harder without him, but I know you can do this. And you don't have to do anything with it that you don't want to, like touring anymore."