I read a little more of her notebook today. Actually, I read a lot more. It's really good - as in she should have got it published kind of good.
She portrayed me wrong, though - Selly is far too kind. She's not horrible; she doesn't say the wrong things; she doesn't let Riley down again and again and again.
Riley is far too moody to really be Becks - she sulks a lot and wears black and listens to screaming music. I realise now that Becks was just trying to make her stereotypically depressed.
Riley is cutting a lot in the story. I'm about halfway through everything that she has written. I've just hit this heartwrenching scene where Riley gets angry and sad all at once and takes a blade to her skin just because. And she reaches for her phone and she considers calling Selly, but she hangs up at the last minute - mainly because she doesn't want Selly to feel bad for her, but partly because she's scared that Selly won't accept it.
I think that means that Becks was scared that I wouldn't accept it - that I wouldn't accept her.
I don't know what she was thinking. What did I do wrong to make her think that?
I must have been awful.
YOU ARE READING
The Suicide Effect | ✓
KurzgeschichtenIn which Becks commits suicide and Gayle spends the next fifty days wondering exactly what she should have done differently. © 2014 inexistence Spiritual #20 [26.11.14] Short Story #26 [05.12.14] Short Story / Spiritual crossover #1 [21.11.14]
