Pain || jilix

2

Jisung's POV:

Stars.

Mum always told me, whenever a person dies, he will turn into stars. The bright, shining stars, scattered across the sky were from souls of lost people. Which is why when she died, I would talk to the stars every night.

Mum.

I missed her. I missed her cooking, her jokes, her bright smile. How her laugh could bright up the whole world. Why did she leave me? I thought we were in it together.

Dear Sungie,

I'm so sorry. I'm selfish, I know. I just can't stay with your father anymore. I have nothing left to hold on to. Just remember, I love you. I'll always look after you from the stars.

From, mum

I guess she was too weak.

No one's POV:

Jisung's dad used to rape his mum every night. When he was 9, he caught his dad forcing himself onto his mum. The  sight was revolting, it would be etched into his mind for the rest of his life. His mum's tear-stained cheeks, his dad's crazed look. He was too scared to tell anyone what happened that night.

It just kept getting worse each night. Jisung had to cover his ears with his pillow to drown out his mum's cries and his dad's shouts. He saw his mum limping every morning. He was only 9. He should be playing with toy cars, hanging out with his friends, not being burdened with his family secret.

Jisung's mum came to play with him every Friday night.

"Mum, why don't you tell anyone about dad?"

"Because I still love him, Sungie."

"But he hurts you..."

"Look everything will be fine soon, alright honey? I won't ever leave you."

She never kept that promise. 

12 year old Jisung was home alone today. At least, he thought he was. He saw his dad leaving the house in the morning, and the house was quiet when he got home from school. "Mum's probably at home," he thought to himself, while going into his room to do his homework. It was his birthday today, and he knew his mum would give him a surprise later, just like how she always did. After finishing his work, he had an urge to go to the washroom. Humming to himself, he walked to the end of the hallway towards the bathroom at the end. When he opened the door, the sight in front of him almost made him puke.

There was his mum, in the bathtub.

Red, cold water was swirling around. Her right hand was dangling outside. Her amazing, clear skin was now deathly pale. And beside the tub...

Was a red-stained knife, and a neatly sealed letter.

Jisung had never screamed so much in his life before. 

He should have known. He should  have known his happiness would not last. His mum was dead. His father didn't even hold a proper funeral for her. He just turned her body into ashes. It was painful to watch.

Then, the torturing and abuse started. Jisung had to be a perfect child, with good grades, very polite and disciplined. He couldn't confide in anyone at the time.

Except for his best friend, Changbin.

Jisung escaped to his house when he was 16. Changbin was 17 at the time. They were both JYP trainees then, and were told that they would be debuting in a trio called 3RACHA, with another guy called Chan. Jisung was ecstatic, he would still be with Changbin! Furthermore, the police found out about his father and arrested him. He would not have to deal with him anymore.

But then, Changbin got a boyfriend. He paid less and less attention to Jisung. Jisung despised that boy. Especially since he had had a crush on Changbin for months.

Yeah, everything just came crashing down.

He talked with his mum every night.

"Mum, Changbin found a boyfriend, he doesn't act like my best friend anymore.."

"I think we're drifting apart..."

"I think I love him, Mum"

"Mum, why are there voices inside my head?"

 Written on: 16/9/19

 Word count: 676