Pain || jilix

8

It was currently 10am. All the members had already been awake for a long time, most of them now sitting in still silence. None of them dared to bring up the subject at hand -- Felix and Jisung. They were all upset, for they felt that Jisung didn't deserve Felix, and it was as clear as day that the boy had a crush on the young australian. Changbin was the only one who didn't look visibly upset. Although him and Felix had been dating for months now, he never felt anything too serious towards him. Jisung on the other hand, was the complete opposite. He literally had butterflies in his stomach whenever he thought of Jisung. But now, for some unknown reason, he felt the same way towards both boys. It was driving him insane. How could he think that way?

Soon after, Felix and Jisung made their descent down the stairs. They both didn't even spare a glance at the rest of Stray Kids, just walked straight out the door. Everyone knew better than to question them. Felix would most likely beat them up if they made a sound.  Minho couldn't stay quiet, though. As soon as the two boys were gone from his sight, he stood up and exclaimed, "What's wrong with Felix? He suddenly changed and now he's always hanging out with the squirrel! It's like their dating, did he really forget about Changbin?"

Changbin slowly lifted up his head to see the members' eyes all on him. He shrugged his shoulders before saying, "If that's how it is, so be it." before he went back to his room. Everyone thought that he was upset about the situation, but he really wasn't. He just didn't want more problems to arise. 

Meanwhile, the two small boys were at a nearby cafe, having their breakfast. Jisung tried desperately to finish his plate of pancakes so that Felix wouldn't notice, but of course Felix could see through his facade. He said, "Ji, it's okay if you can't finish your food. Here, just drink the milkshake." Jisung smiled when Felix handed him the strawberry milkshake. It would give him a lot of calories, of course, but not as much as the pancakes. He was just glad the other boy was understanding.

Throughout the day, they went to watch a movie, which was so scary for Jisung that he was literally cuddled up against Felix by the end of it. Then, they went to an amusement park, riding every single ride there was. Jisung was so happy he could finally have a friend beside him that could hold his hand during the rollercoaster drops, or to make silly faces with at the photo booth. Felix knew about how lonely Jisung felt during the Stray Kids trips, so he wanted to make the older have the time of his life today. They wasted a lot of money, but they were satisfied by the end of the day.

Then, it was dinnertime, the time which Jisung was scared of the most. He hoped that they would go back to the dorms to eat, but Felix decided that having a dinner at one of the fanciest restaurants in Seoul would be a good idea. In order not to make his best friend upset, he ordered a plate of salad, whereas Felix ordered an endless amount of food. When he saw what was placed in front of Jisung, he raised an eyebrow, but didn't mention anything. That was until he noticed the smaller boy forcing the food down his throat. In worry, he asked, "Are you okay? Are you sick?" Jisung just shook his head, replying that the food was too much for him. Felix was confused, the food was barely half a plate, and Jisung had only taken two bites. That was when he realised.

Jisung had an eating disorder.

Sighing to himself, he caressed the other boy's knuckles, softly saying, "Jisung, please, this isn't good for you. You're perfect just the way you are. Just try and finish this plate, for me, please?" Jisung was speechless, he really wanted to please Felix, but the food just wouldn't go down his throat. He was so tempted to puke it all out. But Felix's sincere eyes and soft words made him rethink the idea. The boy just wanted the best for him, so he should at least try to cooperate. It took a while, but Jisung finally finished the whole plate. Felix's eyes lit up as he silently cheered, a bright smile plastered onto his face. 

The moment they got back to the dorms, however, Jisung couldn't take it anymore. He just felt so full, it felt so wrong. So, while trying not to look at the members who were all staring at him, he rushed upstairs and emptied his stomach into the toilet. Felix followed him, making sure to lock the bathroom door and rubbed Jisung's back, saying things like, "I'm sorry I forced you to do that."

"We'll take it easier next time, hm?"

"Don't feel bad, it's not your fault."

"I'll always help you, Ji."

Jisung was upset he couldn't make Felix happy, but his comforting words soothed him, at least.

What they didn't know was that the members heard everything. They were outside the bathroom, listening in. They all felt guilty. From Felix's words, they could tell about Jisung's disorder. They all blamed themselves for not noticing earlier. But would they actually help him from now on? No one knew, but at least they were more inclined to make the vulnerable boy get better. Especially Changbin. He was supposed to be by Jisung's side forever, but he ditched him when he needed him the most. He was determined to help Jisung. But first, he had to set things straight with Felix. He couldn't leave the boy hanging. He didn't like Felix anymore. He knew he had to break up with him soon, and he would do it tomorrow.

Written on: 9/10/19

Word count: 991