Pain || jilix

6

Surprise chapter uwu. I mean,, it's Fridayyyyy so I decided to just post a chapter lmao.

It was 11 at night. The other members were probably asleep by now. Jisung had just finished training his vocal skills, and was heading off to the practice room to learn the new choreography danceracha had prepared. This is going to be a long night...Jisung thought sadly.

Meanwhile, Felix had just finished adding finishing the final touches for the choreography of their newest song "Side Effects". It was tiring, definitely, but he was sure Stays would love it. That's when he spotted Jisung coming in the practice room. What is he doing in here? Felix thought curiously. The boy seemed to be in his own world, not even sparing a glance at the dark corner Felix was at. 

Felix watched Jisung dance until 12, when he suddenly collapsed on the cold, hard floor. Gasping in disbelief, he immediately ran over, shouting, "Sungie, you okay?" Jisung slowly turned his head around. When he realised the Australian boy was mere centimeters from his face, his eyes widened as he screamed, Felix screaming along as well. After a few seconds, they finally came back to their senses, laughing at their idiocy. It was genuine laughs. Suddenly Jisung asked Felix, "Wait...did you just call me Sungie?"

Rubbing his neck sheepishly, Felix murmured, "Yea..sorry about that."

"Nono, it's okay! And I'm fine, by the way."

"Well, thank god. Anyways, do you want to sneak out of the dorms now?"

"Felix, come on. It's midnight. The hyungs will scold us if they find out! Plus, it's scary at night!!"

"That didn't stop us last time, though..."

Jisung's eyes widened as memories came flooding back. Him and Felix sneaking out at random times, hanging out together, pranking the members...

"Come on, we need some relaxation time."

Jisung hesitantly nodded his head. He wasn't sure if he wanted to take the risk, but Felix's bright smile made everything worth it. 

"The stars are so pretty tonight..look at all the constellations!"

The two boys were currently laying on the grass in the garden their their dorms. Felix thought that since it was a clear night, they might as well go star gazing. Jisung obviously agreed, it had been awhile since he had last talked to his mum anyways.

"Yeah..look, there's one big star over there, Sung!"

"Oh, yeah.."

"Why do you seem so sad?"

"In my mum's suicide letter, she said that whenever I was down, she would be looking after me. She told me just to look at the biggest star in the sky, because that's where she would be.."

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry!"

"It's fine, and do you think your brother's up there somewhere too?"

Felix stared thoughtfully for a moment, before nodding his head. 

"Of course. He would never leave me. We were inseparable."

"JISUNG, IT'S 2AM. GET UP!!"

Jisung rolled onto his side, mumbling a 'what?', before he realised what Felix was on about. It suddenly dawned on him. Chan would usually wake up around this time, he would definitely find out there were two missing members. However, Jisung's legs were like leads, no matter how hard he tried to stand up, he just couldn't. Moreover, his eyes were closing on their own accord.

"Erm..Felix?"

"What?"

"I can't get up.."

And then the world turned black.

Poor thing, he's probably tired from all his practices.. Felix thought pitifully. Without a second thought, he lifted the smaller boy into his arms. Jisung was light, too light. It actually scared him. His muscles were gone too. It was only bone present. Trying not to think of how bad everything had gotten, Felix ran back to the dorms with a sleeping Jisung.

When he got back home, Felix tried to be as quiet as possible. To his dismay, though, he found all the members sitting in the living room, waiting for him. Felix gulped. "Lee Yongbok, where the fuck were you?" Chan growled. At that moment, Jisung suddenly jumped out of Felix's hands. He looked down at the floor, not daring to look up at his leader. Chan was visibly more angered at the sight of him.

"Jisung, did you force Felix to go out?" 

"Hyung what are you talking about?"

"It's obvious, isn't it? You've never been out this late before. Jisung was the one who made you go to god knows where, wasn't he?"

The squirrel like boy was terrified. He was comfortable with Felix for some reason just now, but with the other members...it was making him panic. "N-no, I didn't.." He managed to stutter out. Chan stared in disbelief. "Who asked you?" Jisung bit his lip to stop the tears from falling.

"Chan, what's wrong with you? It's not even a big deal!"

"It is, Felix! You don't understand! There are sasaengs everywhere! What if you got kidnapped? Do you even think about our feelings?" 

"What about Jisung? He was gone too!"

"He's different."

"How so?"

At this point, Chan was absolutely fuming. He roared, "YOU ALL DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL. WE HAVE A COMEBACK IN A FEW WEEK'S TIME, PRACTICES HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED, AND YOU KNOW WHAT? CHANGBIN'S TOO OBSESSED WITH YOU TO HELP ME MAKE MUSIC. JISUNG ISN'T EVEN TRYING. HE'S A HUGE ASS ATTENTION SEEKER. A SELFISH BRAT."

The whole room was still with tension. Jisung ran to the bathroom at the end of the hall, locking the door, before full-on sobbing. Chan was right. He was selfish. He should stop caring about himself. Punching the wall repeatedly, his hands were stained red with crimson blood. The haze of guilt enveloping him was suffocating. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't see. The voices were coming back.

"Missed us?"

"You shouldn't have wasted your time going out tonight"

"You're getting fatter and fatter, it's disgusting"

"No wonder no one likes you"

Honestly, this time, it got so bad, it sounded like his mum was the one saying those words. Jisung took a razor off one of the cabinet shelves, making huge, long cuts along his upper arms. Seeing the blood made him smile. Oh how he had missed this. At least it made his pain go away.

You could see the fire coming out of Felix's ears. He couldn't control himself. "YOU'RE WORSE, CHAN. DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE GOES THROUGH EVERYDAY? NO, YOU DON'T SO SHUT UP, BECAUSE YOU'LL REGRET IT IF HE LEAVES FOREVER."

His deep voice echoed around the room. Seungmin and Jeongin were hugging each other tightly. They had never seen Felix this mad before. Meanwhile, the other hyungs were trying to keep a straight face, but inside, they were engulfed in fear. 

"Go back to your rooms, NOW."

No one needed a second warning, for they quickly sprinted back to their specific rooms. Felix ran his fingers through his hair and groaned. He knew he should've been more calm, but he was too mad. He went to the bathroom Jisung was in, asking, "Sungie, you okay?"

One knock.

Two knocks.

Three knocks.

There was no reply.

So..I'm gonna change their rooms a bit..

Chan + Felix

Jisung + Jeongin

Changbin + Hyunjin

Seungmin + Woojin + Minho

I hope you like this chapter!

English and Math was easier than expected haha. Just a few more daysss~

Written on: 27/9/19

Word count: 1166