Pain || jilix

5

You see, Stray Kids weren't exactly dumb. Stays believed they were dumb, but they really weren't. They actually noticed minor things.

Stray Kids rarely ate together. At least one member wouldn't be present during meals everyday because he was practising. It was such a common occurrence that no one really kept track of who wasn't at the dinner table anymore. But Woojin noticed something. He found out Jisung never ate together with them. It had been months since he ate together with Stray Kids. He didn't know how no one realised, but he knew he would never bring it up. They would just joke about it. To say the least, he was kind of worried.

3RACHA had regular sessions together. Chan remembered when he would joke around with the other two, being all happy. Nowadays, he found out, Jisung didn't have anymore spark in his eyes. The way his eyes would light up whenever he made an amazing lyric, or when Chan praised him, it was gone. It was barely noticeable, but Chan still noticed. His lyrics weren't half as good as last time. It stressed Chan out a lot, which was why he was mean to Jisung. He had a horrible temper. However, he still cared about the cute squirrel-like boy he grew close to over the months. And he was worried.

Jisung would usually come back home at around 3am. Jeongin was a light-sleeper, but nobody in Stray Kids knew. He heard everything. He heard Jisung's quiet sobs in the bathroom. Jeongin just wanted to bang the door open and hug his hyung, but the rest of the members may make fun of him if they found out. He wasn't supposed to hangout with Jisung. On some nights, there were only sobs. On others, he would hear Jisung gagging into the toilet. He knew his hyung wasn't sick, though. Jisung was always perfectly fine in the morning. He was scared for his hyung's well-being. Was it serious? What was happening? Jeongin didn't know, and he wouldn't ask.

Hyunjin was mortified when Jisung would remember choreographies in short amounts of time. It honestly stumped him. Jisung actually danced like a main dancer. Hell, he was even better than Hyunjin now. His moves were exactly on beat, his facial expressions on point.  It confused him how Jisung managed to improve so much in just a few months. Of course, he couldn't praise him. If the members found out, they would probably mock him. Hyunjin did not want to be the center of attention all the time. He realised, however, how Jisung was never really excited for dance. Hyunjin was the only one who noticed, even though Jisung's moves were flawless, they weren't from Jisung's passion. He remembered how he used to practise with Jisung at night, until he got all the moves right. They would lay on the Practice room floor together, body drenched with sweat, but utterly satisfied with themselves. What had happened to the old Jisung, the one who loved dancing with all his heart?

Changbin remembered when he was close friends with Jisung. When they would play together after school, chasing butterflies, or listening to music. He remembered when he first made Jisung listen to the song he had made. It was about their friendship. The lyrics were so meaningful, Jisung started bawling and hugged Changbin tightly. That was how Jisung started to make music together with Changbin, and they ended up in JYP together. Then, Changbin found an online boyfriend, Felix. He would be coming to Korea around the same time Changbin was debuting in 3RACHA. Soon after, he found out Felix was a trainee in JYP. He was so happy when Chan announced Felix would be in the group 'Stray Kids' with him. He hadn't noticed he getting more and more distant with Jisung. They barely talked to each other. Changbin wasn't that daft, he knew. He knew Jisung's crush on him. Honestly, it didn't bother him, but he was too interested in Felix then to worry about Jisung's feelings. But Changbin missed the feel of Jisung's lips on his. Their late night makeout sessions during their trainee days. Their secret hand holding. It was only a phase, right? However, he was extremely worried about the younger when he saw the dark bags under his eyes, and how he would sometimes limp around.

Minho was Jisung's closest friend when they started Stray Kids. He knew how the small boy loved wearing bright outfits. He claimed it made him stand out more. He would also wear oversized hoodies, with light jeans. Those were his favourite outfits. It made Minho smile whenever he saw the energetic boy being comfortable. He was horrifyingly bad at dark concepts, because he kept smiling to the fans during the performances, or acting cute unintentionally. Imagine Minho's confusion when Jisung slowly but surely stopped wearing bright outfits, instead opting for a dark hoodie with black ripped jeans and a mask on at all times. Sometimes, he would even wear a black cap to cover himself. Minho couldn't do anything. The younger's personality was changing by the day, and he couldn't step in for fear of what the members would say if they found out he was with Jisung. Therefore, no matter how upset and worried he was, Minho would just watch from the sidelines. 

Seungmin always had a good eye for things. Which is why he never missed the way how Jisung would sometimes lightly touch his left wrist multiple times during a comeback or after a particularly hard show. He didn't know if it was just Jisung's habit, but he was still slightly worried. It had only started these past few months. Jisung never used to do that. However, Seungmin didn't know what was exactly wrong with Jisung, but that didn't stop him from feeling terrified for Jisung. A touch on the wrist could mean anything, but Seungmin still had his doubts. It had been happening way to often for it to be the cause of a small injury. He couldn't do anything, though, because he was scared that the members would treat him differently for hanging out with Jisung.

And Felix? He noticed everything. He noticed how Jisung's clothes were getting way baggier than they should be on him. He noticed the way Jisung didn't enjoy producing music as much as last time. He noticed how Jisung didn't dance with passion anymore. He noticed how Jisung didn't look like he slept at all recently. He noticed Jisung's change in personality. He noticed Jisung's change in clothing preferences. He noticed Jisung's wrist-touching after a hard day. He noticed Jisung's scars littered all over his body. Felix had kept quiet about everything for a few months now, but enough was enough. He had to gather up enough courage to help his September buddy, even if it meant getting bullied by the other members. He couldn't risk waiting too long and losing another close friend, he just couldn't.

The rest of Stray Kids were too scared that they would be judged by others by doing the right thing. They were cowards. They didn't know, their happiness were at a cost of one other person's. It was idiotic, really. They could spot things easily, but were too stupid to do anything about it. Which is why Felix decided, there was nothing to lose. He decided to help Jisung.

Written on: 23/9/19

Word count: 1226