diary entry 17 - Seungmin
my brain is doing the thing. you know the thing, where it feels like everything is on the edge of something, like everything is taking a breath before something happens.
the word is running through my brain over and over, lovelovelovelove like a computer virus. it's imprinted on my brain, burrowed into my subconscious, i can't process anything else. i shouldn't have thought those things.
love isn't real. and if it is it's not something i can afford right now.
somethings happening. my brain is threatening to fold, spiral into hatred and loathing.
i dont know how to prevent it, and this time i have to. i cant do this to him, he doesnt deserve it. after all he's done for me.
i did everything i need to, i havent been able to find my knife in months. im running more than i should but i need to. im eating now, but i know i wont be later. maybe i can put on weight so he doesnt notice.
somethings going to happen and i cant stop it and i cant stop thinking about it.
_______________________
no one:
literally no one:
not a single person on earth:
me: the story's going too well time for drama
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peach starbursts ━━ h.hj + k.sm
Fanfiction━━ where Hyunjin moves in next to Seungmin and looks for a friendship ... but might find something more ━━ - neighboors au -
