Last July

Chapter fourteen

Exhaustion:/ to fall or shrink abruptly or completely

Bahiea Bay was in every way different from the city. It was quiet, no horns blasting, definitely no vast hordes of people and I suddenly felt like I was thrown off the world. With such a quiet environment my mind would collaspe. I laid prostrate against the table in the hall unable to keep up with this dizzy feeling. I was just only experiencing mind block but now I was on the verge of going insane too. I tried to calm myself, silence wasn't so bad, I could make as much noise as I needed to when I was ready to write. I just needed some inspiration. That's exactly what I was lacking right now. Inspiration.

"Did you see the guy that was watching you last night Kenzy?"

Philly walked in enthusiastic, dressed in hard boots, shorts and a tank top. Her hair was caught in a messy bun and she was trying to pin her watch onto her hand.

"What guy? The one from the shop?"

She glanced at me for a second. "What guy from the shop?"

"The one that was upset with the world"

She shook her head. "No. Didn't even know he was there. There was this other guy near the bar"

"Oh"

I scratched my head a little, I hadn't seen that one. I had lost track of her and Brian when we entered the bar and in desperation I had to get myself a drink. Okay, so it turned out to be water with a slice of lemon but I was hot, thirsty and at the very least one of us had to keep our head on.

"He has a tattoo" I said still lying on the table.

" Who? " she asked coming back to me.

"The guy from the garage. I asked him how old he was and he wouldn't say"

"Ohh" she said a big smile across her face. "Touchy, found someone you liked already"

I pulled myself up and sat straight staring at her. "No. How can you like someone you've only just met?"

She shrugged leaning against the wall. "It happens everyday. There's no say in when you can actually start liking someone"

I shook my head. "I just asked because it just seemed kinda strange that's all. He doesn't seem that..." I bit my lip trying to find a better word for old. "Aged"

Philly blinked at my synonym. "You've seen men with drawings before, if you talk like that they'll think we picked you up from somewhere strange"

I snickered. "Sorry. I just wanted to know what went through his mind getting one. I mean he could be old and did it when he was younger and regret it now"

"Or, he could have done it as a fraternity memoir for college either way he still has it" she walked over and rubbed the top of my hair disheveling it. "Just enjoy the summer okay"

I pushed her hand away and sighed. "I need inspiration phillisa. I need somewhere that's conductive to thinking"

"What's wrong with your room?"

"It's too quiet! " I screamed. "I'm going to die here"I've

"Stop being dramatic. You haven't given yourself a break since he left. Enjoy the silence, take a nap and when I get back we can go to the bar like last night and enjoy ourselves"

" I can't wait, yeah! " I murmured. "Where are you going anyway?"

Her face lit up even more. "Brian is taking me on a tour. When we eventually get back the van, I'll take you every where"

"Uh huh" I replied.

I knew better than to believe a word she said. Now that she has found a new distraction, I was on my own. I walked around the house trying to figure out where I could actually sit to get the magic started. The house was rather large for just the two of us. There was a meshed door leading from the outside, a small foyer with a closet at the side of the staircase and two rooms and a bathroom at the top with a small kitchen and living area to the left and right respectively after entering. Inside was painted mustard yellow and the furniture were either dirt brown or tiger stripped with cream or maybe it was cream stripes and tiger. I didn't bother to figure it out.

When the evening came I sat on the sofa groaning at my predicament. I was still a thousand words short. I couldn't write because I was uncomfortable and no words flowed. I spent the better part of the day thinking of maverick and jesse. I knew I shouldn't have but I couldn't help it. I couldn't honestly say when I'd be able to get over his betrayal of us and I wished he hadn't abandoned what we had. In many ways I wanted him back, maybe it was stupid but that's how I felt. Flushing three years down the drain just didn't seem rational, yet here I was in a empty home. No jesse, no maverick. Just kendall, and Kendall was tired. Now more than ever I felt like I didn't mean anything to him leaving like that. He couldn't deal with even having me around? Would we even have lasted another year? I loved jesse, maybe not more than him but I would've given anything to keep her alive, anything. Just to know he'd be okay too, but in the end none of that mattered. She was gone and the world just got a little bit colder.
Trying to shake myself from my dismal attitude because I seriously needed to move on with my life at some point, I tried calling Philly to let her know I was going to head to the bar before the time we had agreed we go, instead I got voicemail. That's definitely a first. I left a message instead and left the house. The sun was setting. Great. I had twenty nine more days to finish my script, to make it a great script as according to Peter.

"Shit" I mumbled. I'm going to screw things up.

"Tino's" I read as I made my way into the building. Happy hour wouldn't start until maybe another hour or two so that left me enough time and space to bounce around before the boisterous sounds filled the small space. I order my lemon water and sat thinking. When I finally handed in my script what was I really going to do after that? I could start my other book, I already had an idea of what it'd be about but then Peter has been bugging me about going on tour for a while now and I've turned him down every time. The cafe might have impacted my social skills somewhat but could I honestly say I could find it thrilling to socialize with fans? I glanced around realizing that the bar was beginning to fill and there was still no sign of philly. Guess it's another night of being on my own. So much for friendly support. The bartender returned refilling my glass and I smiled thanking him. The other guy from the repair shop wasn't here yet either, guess he wasn't a bartender likewise or he's just late.

After spending what seemed like forever in the bar sitting on my own and being stood up by my best friend for her new found distraction I headed home. It was a long walk but I knew if I started out now, I'd get there, eventually. I just hoped they didn't have criminals roaming loose and that wolves didn't larking about during the night. I walked on the chilly night air nipping at my exposed fingertips and my feet slightly numb. Cars passed slowly going about their business and I glanced back every now and again checking if I was being followed. The town was somewhat more lively during the night for some crazy reason but still, the roads were sparsely populated.

A car pulled to a stop only a few inches from my next step forward and a blonde headed guy looked out smiling widely. I stopped deciding not to get any closer.

"Need a lift?"

I glanced at him and then at the truck. This was my second day in this awkward place and I was yet to know the name of a single soul besides Brian.

"No" I replied trying my best not to seem offensive. "I'm not a far way off. I'll be fine thank you"

"Are you sure? It's no trouble at all"

I nodded and plastered a fake smile. "Yes"