Last July

Chapter fifty three

Healing:// to restore to original purity or integrity

I held Clarke in my arms pacing with him as my sister slept. I stayed all night with her, Charles had to work, dad and mom went home and Kent disappeared before I even knew it. Kay had a rough night likewise, she collapsed early this morning after having to stay up with him crying all night. I smiled mischeviously at my little nephew snoring away happily, lost to the cares of the world.

"He looks just like you when you were a baby"

I rolled my eyes. "Mom please not right now"

"I'm serious, you were so small, I was so scared to hold you"

"I guess that explains the lovely relationship we had after right"

I was rather happy being alone with Clarke, talking to him even though he wasn't listening. I didn't hate my mother, but we both knew conversations were never our best, for years now. So long I can't even tell anymore when it all started. I wasn't proud of our relationship, but no matter how much I tried, because I could never count on her trying to make it better, before it got better things grew worse. And it could be better, could be, if she didn't have the possessive behaviour dictating how perfect out lives should be.

"Let's get it out there Kendall because I don't understand why your always against what I say"

I scoffed. How good of you mother to make me out to be the monster. My sister turned in her bed from our commotion and so did Clarke. I did my best eying my mother from the sides of my eyes to get him back to sleep. Kay needed the rest and at some point so would I.
"Now isn't the right time"

"Kendall I know we haven't been on good terms"

" Good terms is kinda cutting it close don't you think? We haven't been on good terms for years now. You're the reason I left in the first place"

"Funny, I thought you just needed a change of pace that's what you said"

I gritted my teeth unable to do much, after a while Clarke woke up and started his high pitched wailing, my sister sprang from her sleep side eyes panting. Shit, great now no one's getting any rest.

"You did this"

"Hand him over"

"What?" I asked turning to my sister.

"Hand him over" she repeated more sternly.----------------------

"Why, he's fine, go back to sleep"

"He's not fine, he's annoyed with the agitated air and both of your intense conversation, as I am" said Kay holding out her hand for me to hand over Clarke . "I'm so tired of you guys arguing like children and kenzy mom is mom, something's are not always what they seem"

I glanced at my mother then back to my sister after laying baby Clarke in her hands.

"What's that's supposed to mean"

" Mom, you need to tell her"

I glanced back at my mother, she wasn't looking at me, she avoided my eyes intentionally staring through the door. "It doesn't matter"

"It matters to me, whatever it is"

My mother snickered. "Right, you don't even know what it is" she said disappearing through the door.

I stood for a while not understanding what was going on. They were hiding secrets from me, something that was important? At this stage. Was I adopted? No, I shook my head at the thought, I practically took off my mother, I had my father's eyes but everything else was definitely from my mother. I glanced back at my nephew a final time ensuring that he was okay before rushing through the door to find her.