Last July

Chapter sixty eight

Chance:// the fortuitous or incalculable element in existence

I woke up in Andrew's arms the next morning after having to coerced him into sharing the bed with me. No, we didn't get into any naughty business. He could be a perfect gentleman when he wanted to be. It didn't feel right knowing he'd be sleeping in a chair while I had the bed to myself, of course he was being a damn ass about it but I was sure to let him know, if he was staying in a chair, he'd be real uncomfortable because we'd both be sharing it.

My head shifted, glancing up at him while he slept soundly, his handsome features relaxed and I was above tempted to kiss him. My eyes shifted to the ascending sun diverting my attention to the outside before I slowly eased away from him, tugging at the hem of his shirt as I sauntered over to the window.

The water glistened silver-gold in the warm sun, while the trees cheered as the wind danced through them. The slightly chilly breeze grazed my skin causing me to catch a breath. This morning was beautiful. My heart swelled a little as I thought about what happened in just a few days. Traumatized by maverick, having almost lost myself to sorrow and just when I thought I'd hit rock bottom he caught me.

I wanted to trust him, but now, now I was scared. I couldn't even trust myself to make a good decision. For pete's sake I'd sworn I wouldn't have given maverick another chance at us. But I'd thought about it, let him in and he hacked me to death. Mutilated every part of me that wanted to believe, that needed to believe that there was love within our relationship. That it was real and worth something. Guess I deserved it. Fate spared me the heartache the first time and I just had to commit emotional suicide giving him above all, a second chance.

I sighed heavily. What am I going to do now?

"Good morning to you too"

Turning, having being pulled out of my thoughts hearing Andrew's voice, my eyes linked with his ocean blue's finding him awake leaning on one side his head propped up against his right hand staring at me.

He was so beautiful and sexy lying there half naked, his tattoo at his shoulder becoming my center of attention. I swallowed. I'd never be attracted to a guy with art on his body. Never. With everything that's going around I swore it off permanently. There are just so many things to be had with getting a tattoo. Too much a health risk to ever risk. But here I was, falling and he made it feel deliciously sweet.

"Hey" I said. "You're awake"

"And you're too far away"

I smiled internally. It felt weird finally hearing his real feeling all out in the open, now I was wondering what that really meant. This was summer, in a few hours Philly and I would be going home, what's going to happen with us? Will what we shared last night become a memory?

"I wanted to see the sunrise"

"You should've woken me up"

I glanced at him surprised. He wanted to watch it with me?

"Don't get it wrong, I run at that time"

Just had to get a jab in don't you?

I rolled my eyes turning my back to him my eyes still peeled hearing his footsteps disappear from the room. My own feet took me out the boat House and into the board walk finding a small rainbow across the lake. I smiled maybe it was time I gave myself time to not over think things. My mind felt heavy and I desperately wanted to relinquish the dragging feeling I felt over my body.

I waited as Andrew grabbed his keys from the office at the car, after we walked back to town. We were silent the entire walk over. He had as much to think about as much as I did and I could tell from his expression that he was in limbo. Knowing he cared, worried, that he was honestly and sincerely sorry about what he had said that day, only served to form more regret in my heart knowing that we weren't able to make the time a little more memorable. That our stupidity and denial of our feelings drove us away from each other. Summer maybe had another month before it was over, but our time had come to an end sadly. We both lived separately and now we'd have to continue it.