Last July

Chapter fifty six

Change:// to undergo transformation, transition, or substitution

The constant sounds of announcements over the radios and shifting feet filtered through my thoughts as I stood in the line awaiting my turn at the desk, but I wasn't paying attention to anything. Peter was just before me on his phone while Sarah was busy sorting through her diary and responding to him whenever he asked her a question. I was busy absorbed with thoughts of my own life.

Thinking of how things changed, shifted like night and day, even without a single thought of how I'd adapt after. I knew at some point I'd have to adjust my life, just wasn't sure if right now was the best place to start. Well since I was here something was changing, even if it was by Peter's demand. I moved up in the line again, my feet doing all the work since my mind was elsewhere. My eyes were contained on the opening leading back towards the entrance to the airport.

I bit down on my lip thinking. I truly wanted to be a good writer, one of the best being honest with myself, I also knew that there were steps I'd have to take to get there, I just didn't think I'd be alone when it was finally my time to take them. Was I really ready to take this step in my life?

"Next"

"Miss"

"Ma'am"

"Kendall!"

My head snapped back around breaking my gaze at the sound of Peter's voice, I was still out of it despite his futile attempts to point me an undetermined direction.

"Next!"

It wasn't until the attendants irritated voice met my ears again that I realised I was holding up the line. Shit!

"You might want to not drift off so early on this trip" said Peter trying to compose himself pretending not to be annoyed by what happened a few minutes ago as we talked to our seats in the aircraft.

I knew he was but I also knew I didn't do it intentionally. My phone beeped as my email chipped in. Settling, I sat snugly in my seat as I checked it. There was numerous from peter, I glanced over at him who was busy going through the tour stood before returning my eyes to my iPhone. My eyes scanned the list lazily until it landed on maverick. My heart started to beat faster as I contemplating whether or not it was best to open it. I might've told him to email me, but I didn't intend to open it, well not yesterday and not the day after which would've been today.

My hands trembled as I hit the open button and read his message, biting my lips as I read along. By the time the flight reached our destination my mind was in confusion. I knew I shouldn't have let him in, given him the chance to explain himself because he didn't deserve one. Not after he walked out on us, not after he treated what we had, not after he treated me like trash. But I loved him and I wasn't sure when that was going to change.

I hurried to my room needing some time on my own to deal with everything. Him, me. I didn't need Peter's opinion right now and his pity stares. My phone started to vibrate and I cursed trying to unlock the door.

Please don't be maverick, please don't be maverick, I whispered to myself.

It was Andrew.

A tear fell and I felt my lips tremble, reaching inside I closed the door standing behind it before collapsing to the floor. I didn't want it to be him either. I didn't take his calls or texts since that day, I didn't even bother to tell him I was leaving. He didn't need to know. I needed to remind myself that I didn't matter, I didn't know him, he would know the truth about that. Everything was just face value. The phone stopped and I picked myself up dragging my bag along the floor to the bedroom before abandoning them and heading to the bath.