Last July

Chapter forty three

I pulled out the chair for Gale to sit as we got to our table. I kept figgetting with the cuff of my shirt ever since we got out of the house. All of a sudden the damn shirt felt tight. But that wasn't the only problem I was having either. The nearer it drew for us to go out, the more my stomach contorted and I felt sick. I knew what this feeling was about, I hated this feeling, in fact the last time I had this feeling was when I was gonna propose to her and it wasn't this bad; which meant what I was about to hear was nothing I was ever going to like. I sat perusing the menu, perusing, I was reading but nothing made sense. I glanced her momentarily before returning my eyes to mine. She smiled.

" Have you decided on what you'd like? "

"No, you choose. I'm really not that hungry tonight"

"You haven't ate since breakfast"

I couldn't eat after breakfast and I wished it was the feeling of being full I had. Even drinking water tasted insipid.

"I'll have whatever you choose Gale" I responded not needing her nagging right now. My temples started to pound and I knew I should be in bed but tonight was the night I'd finally know where she'd been all this time and nothing, whether sickness or death was gonna prevent me from hearing this.

"I'll have the well done steak, with mashed potatoes and pasta, with red wine?" She looked across from the waitress to me.

"That's fine"

"Both of us" she said ending her order and turning back to me starting to smile from ear to ear. "Its good we did this. It's been a while hasn't it?"

No one's fault but yours, I thought. "Yeah, you ready to talk now?"

"Can't we wait until after we have eaten"

"No, I think I've been patient enough don't you think?"

She took a deep breath, then glanced up at me. "Promise you won't get angry and walk out"

Don't do it idiot. Don't say yes. "Okay"

"That's not a yes andrew"

I gazed at her and she took another breath.

"I asked to be transferred to Fleming's hospital to work for rotations this summer instead of the usual with Lucy"

" Why? You didn't even let Lucy know"

"Because I felt it was a good decision to experience another environment for a change and I don't have to tell Lucy every little thing either"

Defensive already?

"Okay, but that's not the only reason you left right?"

She looked at me surprised that I'd figure it out. I wasn't an idiot, something as simple as that and no one knew where the hell she was all this time? I wasn't born yesterday even if I was stupid.

"No, that's not the only reason"

Our dinner came but I had lost interest. After I had gotten to the bottom of this mystery, I'd probably eat but right now, I didn't care if it'd probably end up going to waste.

"I'm listening" I said as I watched her take a forkful from her plate. She chewed audourously slow as if hoping I'd loose interest. I wouldn't. I sat waiting patiently, placing my glass to my mouth watching her. Her mouth opened and closed but no words, at least not audible to me came out. Finally she spoke so I could hear.

"Do we have to do this now?"

"We don't have to, but I'm not gonna sit here and act as if we're having a great time. In fact doing it now or later doesn't matter. Just as long as you understand that it's whenever we've talked about this would be the only time we talk"