Seething Journey

Chapter 14

On August 14, 2019, I went in to work with a headache. It got worse than the ones I was already having. My great grandmother decided to take me to the hospital. Well, I went through a series of CT scans and it turned out the shunt I was born with had swelled. It meant it was broken. I did not find this out until 9:00 at night. After that, they told me they were transferring me to a hospital in Tampa, Florida. I got to the hospital by 12:00 am. Later on that morning on Thursday, August 15, 2019, I had surgery for my shunt to be removed.

As you can tell I made it through the survey and recovery isn't bad. To me, I feel better. I think even though it was dangerous for them to do, it was necessary. Now I can go and so things like other adults. I can live life like I was before I just won't have all the headaches and extra pain.

In this world, as it is there is a ton of bad. I know at times I do get ahead of myself. Even though I get ahead of myself I know I have to take it easy. I know I must remember God has made plans for me in my life. I know I must do what's right and best for me. I enjoy working and seeing the smile on the customer's faces. I know how I take my job too seriously in people's eyes. I love what I do though.

Making big decisions can take a lot out of you. It can drive you nuts. There are things in life that happen and make you truly absorb all the events. It's taking a leap of faith when the times get tough. Being able to let go and feel better keeps me stronger. I got God and all my loved ones with me. It's a wonderful feel g because I'm not stressed out. There have been times when I was stressed out all the time.

I'm wide awake and enjoying myself. I'm just chilling in this recliner chair and listening to music. Being able to listen to music and distress makes me feel better. Normally I have so much to say. This time I don't because I'm really calm. Being calm as been good for me. I know my job was making me stressed and then when I was home I felt the same. It wasn't the work it was more of the people.

I know it's life and I got to pull through it. I know I can do it. I know I can do it because life has put me through worse situations. I have had to be strong and make sure I didn't lose myself in the process. I made it through those situations and I know I can make it through all of this. I am just going through a little bit. The scary thing about when I had surgery was me being nervous knowing I have had it since I was three days old.

God was with me in the surgical room. I'm glad I made it out alive. I know my faith was with me and it will continue to be through my body. Even so, my family has an opinion about me having a guy in my life at the moment. I am working on myself and I just wanted someone to talk to besides my family. With the person, I hang out and talk with he doesn't judge me. He makes me laugh and makes me smile. Even if it's just, for now, I am okay with it.

I'm okay because I know my life will come together. I know I will get my license and I will get my own car. I know I will come out on top. I know I just have to keep working hard. I know if I stay focused it will happen in no time. It actually bothers me knowing my family has so much opinion about what I'm doing. I'm not doing anything wrong. My friend walks me home.

We talk and we enjoy each other's company. I know he doesn't have anything more than just himself and his own place. In all honesty, I truly don't worry about it. I know I have to be independent. I know what matters. I know if I continue to save my money I will get to go to drivers school. I will be able to get my license and go to get my own car.

I know it's important for me to have these things. It's things I have been wanting for a long time. I know what it takes to do it. I have my plan worked out. At this point, I'm thinking about just going out and doing it. I don't like having to rely on people. The one I love with I do love her deeply. Yet anything I mention to her she has a strong opinion on it. I am already very independent. I think I can get somewhere if I do it myself.

I know I can't do it all myself. It's the best way I know I can do it. Relying on other people isn't a good thing for me. I feel that way because it has been having drawbacks. I know that's why I try to do everything myself. I know I have accomplished a lot even if it doesn't seem like it. I have a whole year to get my license properly. Yet I know I can get it before the year is up. I believe I can do it no matter the challenge. Writing about myself is fun when I'm thinking of stuff.

One of the earliest childhood memories I have was when I was in kindergarten and my teacher taught us the dreidel song. What I see as one of my best qualities is my smile. My smile is one of my best qualities because it's one of the first things people notice about me. I don't have the same religious beliefs that I had as a child. I don't because I came to know what it is and which one I value. They changed because I found one for myself.

The benefits of having siblings are I have someone to talk to. I have younger siblings I can teach. I can have someone to play with. I don't have to worry about being all alone. The way a person can tell if they're really in love is how they find themselves truly listening and they start to care more. They find themselves telling the person even more than they planned. They find themselves bonding and they spend a ton of time with each other more.

I am shy about my body when it comes to going to the pool and when I'm in a relationship. I am shy about it because I don't like it when my scar shows. When I'm in a relationship I'm shy about it because I know some men can be very judgemental. I try to dance and work out so I can lose the weight and will be comfortable with myself. I know my opinion matters most of course.

My favorite spot in my home is the table. It's my favorite spot because I can sit in the chair and just write. I would have my headphones in too. One of the most admirable classmates it coworkers I had was the kid who was at the top of our graduating class. I admired him because even though our grade point average was the same he never let the advance classes scare him. I thought it was quite amazing to be was able to do it.

One of the worst coworkers I had was back when I first started being a working woman. There was a woman who was very demanding and wouldn't accept help. She felt her class was more important.

A time I succeeded at something because I just didn't give up was when I wanted to become a crew leader at my former job. I did whatever I could to get the position. I came in early, started late and even came in on my day off. After a little while, I got the position. I eventually got to be a head crew leader. It was a great job. I believe it helped me to know I can truly do it. I was proud of myself for not giving up on something I wanted.

I am a different resident of my city. I'm a different resident because  I don't give up on trying to get somewhere. I do what I need to do to get myself what I want. I work hard and I try not to let the people around me scare me.

The way I fit the stereotype of people from my country is the way I speak. I am loud and I do things like an American does. My favorite toy when I was five years old was a Barbie doll head. The Barbie doll head was a little head doll where you could style the hair. It was always fun to braid its hair. It made me feel like my mom when she used to do our hair. It made me feel like a big girl. Lol!!!!

One of my most useful talents is really good with customer service. I take their needs before my own. I enjoy the conversation and being able to help them any way I can.

The superstitions I believe in or follow are that when it rains it means God is crying. I try to make sure I repent for my sins. I do wish a whole lot. I know my wishes won't come true unless I make it come true. I try to do certain things to avoid bad luck. I try to make sure I walk straight and I don't break any mirrors.

One death which happened in my family was my grandfather on my dad's side. I was really young when it happened. My grandfather passed due to issues with pneumonia. These days when anyone talks about him there are only good things being said. I think it's wonderful for me to know a lot about him is he won't be forgotten.

There have been many births in my family. I have come to know a lot about when a baby is born and all their needs. Due to my being around babies and children all of my life there are many things I won't forget. I know how to make a bottle. I know how to change a diaper. I also know when and what they are supposed to eat.