Seething Journey

Chapter 7

I'm now living in Florida. It sure does feel weird not going to Zaxby's every day. I know I had many friends there. I also know there were people who wanted to see me leave because they knew I could do better for myself too. I just know when it comes to having a job, I must go with what I can get. I also know I got to work as hard as I can. I know everyone around me and those who know me personally want me to enjoy my life. I want to enjoy my life too. I just want to have money when I do it. I don't like being broke. I know when it comes to having my bills paid and having a place to sleep then I should be satisfied. I'm alright with that. I just know with wanting my own I got to push myself. It's something I know I can do.

There are many things I know I can do in my life. I know I just need to keep focused and work on my goals. I know I got to get somewhere in life and I'm not going to be able to do it, by just sitting around and waiting. I know I got to go out into the world and do what I need to do. I know I got to start true to what I want in life. I know there are many people who have plans and goals. I know over time things happen and we lose sight of what we truly wanted out of life. I'm just trying to make sure it doesn't happen to me. I know my life is worth a whole lot. I know no one is going to take care of me except for myself.  I know nobody is going to work for me either. I know I must be able to stand on my own two feet. I know it's possible because even without my own home, I was able to do it in South Carolina.

I know I didn't have my own place, but anytime someone needed something, I was always there. I just got to remember I must take care of myself first and then other people. I know I can do it. There are many things I know I can do. I have started to gain confidence in myself. I know I didn't come as far as I did because I chose to give up. I pushed myself through a lot. I know my father would say I caused a ton of the situations. Yet, even so, I have made it through. I have conquered many of my fears about living with one of my best friends. I know I have been told to forget about them, but I know I have learned a lot and it will never leave me. I know it won't leave me because I know it would involve me having to erase memories and that's not possible unless I end up with amnesia.

I know there are people who have had to make it through tougher situations than I have. There are things I have done, where people are shocked I have made it through or even done those things. I know I wouldn't be the person I am if not. With me having my expectations set high for myself, I don't want to lose out on anything. I want to be able to take every opportunity. I also know I am still young and there will be many opportunities coming my way. I know with the life I must prove how bad I truly want it. I know I work hard, and my work speaks for itself at times. I know I want to be in that way all the time. I just know I got to keep pushing myself. I know many things and I know I still have a ton to learn. I know with the people come across I will learn something new every day.

There are times when I would live my life by the sayings I heard. I would try to push myself through life and high school as best I could. I know my writing has helped me come far. I know with me working a 9-5 job I have learned how to keep myself busy. I have chosen to rather be at work, then be at home. I know everyone says I can't work my life away. Yet, I know for all the things I want out of my life, I'm going to have to bust my butt. I understand it's what I must do and I'm willing to do it. There are people who have gone far and have had to deal with more than I have. It's gotten to the point where u have gotten to have conversations with people from all walks of life. I mean people from who was on drugs to those who are senior citizens. I am going to continue to gain knowledge.

I know I was put in this earth for a purpose. I know when it comes to my living life, I can't sit still. I know I want to see different things. I just know I want to have the money to do it too. Well, I got the job at Popeyes. I had my second interview today. It went wonderful in my opinion. I'm excited I will be back into the swing of things. I love being able to work. I like knowing I am going to make money. I like knowing I will have something to look forward to throughout the day. I know I can't deal with not working. I like the fast pace and being all over the store. I think that's probably why I loved being at Zaxby's so much. It was my element and I was pleased. I am going to treat this job like I did that one. I'm going to work my hardest and if I'm able to move up, I will do so.

I understand I must do more than just work. I get it wholeheartedly. I also know me working is the only thing which will help me survive. I will have fun when I can. Besides, I know for sure. I will find something to do. I am sure as soon as I have my car, I won't be home. I will be at the library or the coffee shop or something. I will be off having my own little adventure. I want to get back into my reading. I'm going to get back into writing as much as I can too. I know my Nana needs me too. I will have plenty of things to keep me busy. I know I got to get myself on my own two feet. I already have a list of things I need to do. I'm going to get myself established. I'm going to do what I need to do. I mean that's the whole reason I'm here in Florida.

Technically its because I didn't have a place to stay. Once I get myself together, I know I will go back. I know I will because there are plans in the works. It's just in my mind right now. I haven't said too much about it because I know I got to get myself to where I need to be. I also looked up driving school here. I'm going to pay to go and I'm going to do what I need to pass. I got to get my license and get myself more established and have something to call my own. I don't want to have to keep relying on other people. Don't get me wrong it's good to have people who want to help. I just know I got to do a lot of it myself. I have done it myself before and I can do it that way now.

There is a ton of things I want and need to do. I know I must take everything step by step. I understand I shouldn't give up on going to school. I just know I won't be going to school for writing. It's been said before you don't have to go to school to become a writer. I can believe it. I just want to make something of myself. It's tough when you know you got to start all over again. I got to do it the best way I can. I can't wait to start working within the next week. I know I am going to be very happy. I miss the rush of working and being able to know there is a paycheck at the end of it. I know I will have to build myself back up. I know I must make sure I have the right headspace. I'm going to be working on myself and I'm going to teach myself how to stay positive. I know the only way I'm going to make it is if I allow my faith to guide me.

A life I know likes to throw curveballs and you got to able to take it and use it to your advantage. It takes a lot out of you. Sometimes it can make you feel like you are about ready to give up. You will have haters coming to you and throwing everything they can at you. It can hurt to the core. It can make you feel like you want to end your life. It can make you feel like you're about to break. There are many things which will come at you and you got to be ready for it. I know I have literally put myself through a ton of crap. You mine well say I did a number and had to get back to the basics. Anyway, I know as I continue to grow and learn from my life there will be more challenges.