Seething Journey

Chapter 6

The date of October 20th, 2018 was the last entry I posted on LiveJournal.com. With all which was going on, I'm proud of myself for being able to still write and have fun and keep my sanity with all of it. I switched back to writing in my Penzu journal back in February this year. Before I get into that post, which was a recap, I would like to share some insight about the month of January which made me decide which one of them I don't completely regret, but it's a lesson learned. In the month of January, I was asked to go live back with my sister's aunt to help her get her kids back. Her kids were put with their grandmother and my sisters were put in foster care. Their mom Andrea was on meth from what we understood.

One Friday morning she was asked to take her nephews to school, while Alicia was helping with Allison. Now, Andrea caused a scene at the school which caused the kids to be removed and the only way Alisha was going to get her kids back as if she had someone come and watch over her and her husband Daniel with the children until their court date. She couldn't ask my father because apparently, DSS knew my father was still having dealings with Andrea. I agreed after getting advice from my best friend. I called Alisha back and let her know I would do it. The next thing which happened in January was like a coincidence and a blast from the past. It was shocking to me because I haven't spoken to this person in years. This person was someone I dated from the time I was sixteen to twenty off and on.

His name is Leonardo, but most who know him call him either Leo or Buffalo which is his family nickname. It became the nickname which friends called him too. I came across him on messenger. I was looking at my messages one day and something told me to check the messages I had sent him. I had written him back in 2014 when I first left home. Then I sent two more messages back in 2017. For some reason, the messenger changed both dates on the messages to October 2018. The first message I'm going to share was a long one. At the time there was a ton I wanted to say, and I just felt like spilling my guts. Here it goes.

I wrote: "hey I know it been a while. I am excited that I can at least text you on Facebook. So here I go. I understand what happened between you and Jen. I already forgave you. I still can't forgive her for allowing you to get so drunk. That is tough. I still remember everything you told me. I have had to come to terms with a lot about myself. I wanted to tell you I finished that story I let you look at. I still miss you of course. I was wondering if you really meant what you said about always being able to talk to you. I have spent months dating Mike. For six months it was good until my siblings barged in. It really made me think back to when mom got mad about when you and I did the deed. I don't regret what we did. I am just saying I understand it all now.

I hope one day we cross paths again. I am probably going to be messaging you each week whether you answer or not. I hope you find happiness along with this lonely path. Yes, I remember what you wrote to me. I hope you take your advice. There is always time to do what's right."

I was even still in contact with his sister and I figured that's how he ended up checking his messenger. When it came close to the weekend when I was going to Delaware, he messaged me. Now I was ecstatic because he was my best guy friend and two because he was my first huge love. He and I were talking all the time after that. We were even video chatting while I was on the way up there. My best friend drove me the whole eight-hour ride up there. It's mad respect and love right there. Anyways, he had asked me out. Now we did decide to be friends once he explained to me his situation, but it was cool to be in most of the wild moments again. We had planned to see each other when. I got up there, but we didn't since Jess (my best friend) and I had to come back early.

Jess gave him the nickname Caveman since his facial hair made him look like he was one. When he cut it off, he looked like he did when I had dated him back as a teenager. There was this one time when I was on break at work and we were video chatting and I ended up walking back into the back off break still talking to him, laughing my behind off. Everyone was trying to figure out who I was talking to. I told them it was an old friend. When I went on the trip, it was nice to see my mom and my siblings. I truly didn't want to leave, but I knew I needed to come back home. When I got back home, I was back at Alisha's and life was a little different. This time Allison wasn't around, and things were a little weird at first for me. I was able to get used to it.