Only The Strong Survive (Sequel to Survival)

Chapter 45- Shadowed Thoughts

"So you told him?" Jack asks, plopping down next to Elsa on the stone bench as they watch Aidan use the playground and play with the other kids.

Elsa props her chin on her hand, her body bundled in a heavy wool sweater. A cool late autumn breeze rustles her hair as she turns to Jack. "I did. Not everything. But I told him a few things."

He smiles at her, proud at telling their son. He knows how difficult that must have been for her.

Jack nods his head and turns to watch his son run around, laughing.

He smiles at the image. 

Then a dark cloud hovers over him. Once again. Maybe it will a lot more liberating of he tells her.

Without taking his eyes off Aidan, he asks Elsa something that has been bothering him. Ever since they have begun dating, a question has been forming inside his mind, haunting him. A question he hasn't dared voice. Until right now.

"Elsa?"

She glances away from Aidan and fixes her stare on him. Jack shifts in his seat and brings himself to ask. He is curious to know her answer.

Jack's voice grows soft as he asks, "Would you do it again?"

She shakes her head at him, chuckling. "What do you mean?"

He swallows the tightness in his throat and clarifies. "If you knew Aidan was the end result of everything, would you go through it all again? If you had to start over, would you change the course of fate with the chance of things turning out to be different?" At his last words, Jack nods his head at Aidan.

Elsa's smiles vanishes almost too quickly. 

She looks down at her lap and in a low voice she rasps, "Why would you ask me such a question?"

"I––"

He really didn't think this through.  

Jack curses aloud. "You're right." 

What was I thinking asking such a stupid question?

The wind suddenly turns colder. Neither of them utter a word.

Soon enough, the unbearable silence that stretches between them is too much to bear. Only noises from the nearby playground, the laughter of children, and the rustle of the russet and copper leaves in the tall trees fills the dreadful silence.

Elsa still won't look at him. Jack shuts his eyes as he prepares his apology. "Elsa, please understand. I didn't mean to question your love for Aidan. It doesn't matter if you choose one or the other. I wasn't saying that if you chose––" 

"Aidan."

Suddenly, he turns to her. "What?"

Elsa finally looks at him through teary eyes. "I'd pick Aidan."

She turns to watch their son as he runs around with the other kids. 

"If I had to do it all again...I'd do it. Just for him," she says, her voice laced with determination. Elsa said it with such fierceness, Jack felt it in his bones. The fire in her eyes as she faces him takes him back.

He believes her. Anybody out of their mind would doubt the will of any mother. And Jack has no doubt that Elsa would put herself through hell over again if it meant Aidan was kept safe and healthy. 

She'd do it all again if it meant it guaranteed Aidan's own existence.

And Jack has no idea what to say to that.