Asher Lightwood

A Door Into The Dark

TW: Scratching and panic attacks

When they finally got back, we were told that Jocelyn tried to kill Jace. I felt so betrayed, but I didn't want to go off on her, I left that up to Clary.

I stormed to my room and put on some workout clothes and Alec and I put on gear to throw some punches. We started throwing punches at the punching bags and I was so angry, I just let my fists punch the bag hard.

One of the side effects of my anxiety is short-temperedness and irritability. I felt so tense.

I was starting to lose my temper that the bag wouldn't fall or get a rip in it.

I growled. "Why won't you fall?! Do something, you stupid fucking bag!" I seethed. I punched the bag hard and it bounced back to me.

I caught it before it smacked me in the face and started crying as I rested my forehead on the bag with my arms resting on the bag.

"Ash? You okay?" Alec asked. "I want Jace." I said through tears like I was a child.

"Hey, we're gonna bring him home. I'll make sure of it." Alec said, gently. "I can't live like this. Alec, you have to find him." I sobbed. Alec pulled me into his chest.

"We will. I promise." he said. I continued to let it all out, all my tension.

"Scout. Take her back to her room, please? Make sure she's okay." Alec said.

"Look at me. We're gonna find Jace, all right? We're gonna find him and bring him home alive." Alec said, holding my face in his hands. I sniffled and nodded.

Alec kissed my head and I went with Scout to my room to calm down.

"He's right you know. We're gonna find him. You're gonna see him again." Scout said.

I sniffled. "Thank you for being here with me." I said. "Of course. I love you." she said.

We reached my room and she tucked me under the covers. I was hardly getting any sleep and all my tension was giving me energy. Now that all my tension was gone, I felt very tired.

"Can you stay with me?" I asked. Scout just smiled and got under the blanket with me and cuddled me.

"It's gonna be okay. I promise." she said. A little while later, there was a call for a briefing in the ops center.

We both got out of bed and I changed my clothes and went to the ops center and met up with Alec and Izzy.

"Hey. You feeling better?" Alec asked. I nodded and Lydia started the briefing. "There's a clear pattern. Young, strong, highly-skilled fighters, all abducted from boxing clubs, dojos and gyms." Lydia said.

"Valentine must've realized that even with the Cup, creating Shadowhunters isn't easy. He needs mundanes who are more likely to survive the conversion." Lydia said.

"Your job is to stake out potential targets, and catch the Circle members when they try to abduct them. We capture a Circle member, we have a shot at Valentine." Lyda said.

"And Jace. That's how we get to him before they try and kill him." Alec muttered to me, Izzy and Scout.

"Just keep you cool in front of the boss." Izzy said. "You have your orders. Dismissed." Lydia said. Me, Alec, Izzy and Scout all huddled together.

"Izzy.. Izzy please. You wouldn't wanna be benched too. Let me come with you guys." Clary said.

"Did you not hear me before? There's no place for you here." Alec said. "When did you say that? What did I miss?" I asked.