Asher Lightwood

Parabatai Lost

After I recovered from my panic attack, Magnus came to the Institute right away to try and wake Alec. I was sitting on the bed holding Alec's hand, blocking out all conversation. I was thinking about our 12th birthday when we opened each other's presents

Izzy had gotten me a ring with a plumeria on it, Jace had gotten me a patch to sew onto one of my jackets. The patch was of a red rose in front of a moon. There was a box was wrapped in blue and red checkered wrapping paper. "That one's mine." Alec said.

I opened up the box and there was a red and black flannel shirt. I gasped and pulled it out. There was a smile plastered on my face as I put it on.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" I said and hugged Alec. "I love it!" I said happily.

"You're welcome, sis. I'm glad you like it." he said. "Here, open mine." I said and handed him a small box. Inside were arrow gloves with 'Alec Lightwood' written on them.

"Whoa! These are so cool! Where'd you get these?" he asked. "I had Mom and Dad help me." I replied. Alec hugged me. "Thank you, Ash. They're perfect." he said.

"If Jace were to bring back that missing piece of his soul?" Izzy asked and my head snapped up. "We may very well have the cure." Magnus replied, still coating Alec in his magic.

"Whatever we do. We need to do it quickly." I said. "Stay with Alec, both of you. I'll find Jace." Izzy said. She kissed my head and left the room.

"Izzy told me about your..... episode earlier. She said you started to scratch yourself." Magnus said.

"I didn't know what I was doing. My fear took control in that moment, and I was on auto-pilot. Thank the Angel for Jocelyn's motherly instincts." I said. Speak of the Devil, Jocelyn came in. I blocked out Jocelyn and Magnus's conversation as I continued to hold Alec's hand.

I remembered back in Idris when I was getting bullied by the other kids in academic training. It wasn't easy for me to make friends because all the girls wanted to paint each other's nails and put on fake makeup, but I was too shy to approach the boys.

"Look at her. Or should I say 'him'? What do you think girls?" Heather Bellelace asked her crew of popular girls.

"Definitely 'him'. I mean what girl wears a bandana on her wrist? What girl wears a bandana at all?" one of her posse said. I looked down at the bandana tied to my wrist and frowned.

I walked away and started for the girls bathroom when they called me out again. "That's the wrong bathroom, Ashton." Heather mocked and walked away, her and her posse laughing. I could feel tears starting to fall and I tried to stop them.

I took my bandana off my wrist and threw it on the ground. "Don't listen to them." Alec said, coming up behind me.

"They're right. I'm broken, Alec. I do the opposite of what I'm meant to do. There's something wrong with me." I said.

"Hey, you're not broken and there is not a single thing wrong with you." he said.

"You have to say that, you're my brother. And I'm sure Mom and Dad we'll say the same thing. But you're all wrong. Heather's right, I have to start acting like a girl." I said.

Then Alec did something I'll never forget. He walked up to Heather and her posse.

"Why does it matter to you if she acts like a boy or girl. Do you want her to act like a girl so you'll be satisfied? Or maybe you want her to be a girl so you have a better chance with her than you would have with any guy? Is that it? Do you have a crush on my sister, but you don't know if she's a boy or girl?" he asked. A smile grew on my face.