purple guy runs you over

-chapter 1-

      You were walking home from Walmart, after you just bought your new Steve Harvey action figure.
      "Wow.. I can't wait to play with this Steve Harvey action figure.." You thought to yourself.
      You knew that, as soon as you got home you were going to tear open the box with your manly hands and play out the scenarios about Steve Harvey that you have been day dreaming about for ages. Shaving his hair off with a manscaped shaver. You saved one for this exact moment.
      You were about to cross the street when you thought to yourself..
      "Hmmm.. maybe I should look both ways before I cross the street."
       You decided that looking both ways is not in your nature, because you are a bad [gender] 😎, and that it would ruin your reputation to do such a nerdy thing.
       When you put your feet onto the street you realized that you made a big mistake. A big purple bus was going to hit you and you could do nothing about it, because you realized that you are not a rebel, you're a pathetic human being that only deserves pain and suffering, and it would be the best to get hit by the bus.
      The bus ran you over. A purple man back flipped out of the bus and skipped over to you.
      "Haha loser." He said before strutting off.
       You knew you were going to die, so you just sat on the ground, helpless. Hoping for death to come.